


A Mad Woman

by JasmineTeaLatte



Series: The Phoenix and the Dragon [12]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26049052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasmineTeaLatte/pseuds/JasmineTeaLatte
Summary: Growing up, Mai had always been the quiet, proper daughter all other Fire Nation nobles wished they could have… until the day she met the Fire Prince.He ultimately left her behind when he defected from the Fire Nation, with nothing more than a note and a broken heart to remember him by.Then her entire world completely shattered six months later when she learned that Zuko had fallen in love with and proposed to a lowborn waterbender, even risking his life and throne in the process.Mai thought she deserved every right to be furious by this turn of events, but of course, no one likes a mad woman.***Written as a companion piece to my Zutara-themed series "The Phoenix and the Dragon." Not your average Zuko/Katara fic, not a Mai/Zuko one either, although it does cover their relationship from her POV.
Relationships: Aang/Toph Beifong, Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Kei Lo/Mai (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Series: The Phoenix and the Dragon [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847290
Comments: 37
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, for something completely different. 
> 
> I took a quick break from writing strictly Zutara and decided to try branching out with this fic.
> 
> When I wrote Mai's scenes in chapters 2 and 3 of "Phoenix and Dragon," initially that's all I planned to do with her, since I had given her closure and a happy ending. But then I started thinking, how did she eventually reach that point? Suddenly, I wanted to explore her journey as well.
> 
> I'll be the first to admit that writing from her POV was definitely outside of my comfort zone. I took some creative liberties here and there with some characterizations and the timeline, but overall I tried to keep it as in-character as possible. I also reference some things from the comics, but I do change things up.
> 
> So let me know how I did in the comments when you finish the fic - did I do her justice, or did I jump the shark?
> 
> Also, this was supposed to be a oneshot, but 27K words later...

_And there's nothing like a mad woman_  
_What a shame she went mad_  
_No one likes a mad woman_  
_You made her like that_

Mad Woman - Taylor Swift

* * *

Mai could still remember the first time she ever saw a mad woman.

She’d only been about six at the time, dragged along to yet another one of her father’s fancy dinner parties for the other Fire Nation elite.

As usual, there was no one there her age, not that it mattered. It’s not like she would have been permitted to play, anyways. She had to be a proper young lady, just like they’d trained her.

She resisted the urge to grab one of the knives on the dinner table and throw it against the wall.

Unbeknownst to her parents, she’d already picked up on that habit and figured out that she could get rid of her boredom by throwing sharp things. They wouldn’t approve, but then again they didn’t approve of anything she did when she wasn’t being absolutely quiet and well-behaved.

She’d learned from an early age that children were to be seen, not heard, and as long as she acted like the perfect daughter they gave her anything she wanted.

Mai yawned in spite of herself, and she came close to nodding off from boredom when suddenly, she heard the sound of a slap somewhere behind her, and other people around her gasped. 

She knew better than to show surprise – _control your emotions_ , her mother always said.

Instead, she calmly turned around to see a finely-dressed woman panting and glaring at a man clutching his cheek.

“How dare you!” the woman screamed. “I have done everything for you, and this is how you treat me? By sleeping with that servant?”

Mai’s father Ukano nodded at the guards, who quickly surrounded the woman and escorted her out of the room, even as she continued screaming. 

The man who’d been slapped just stared coolly after her, rubbing his face before he resumed conversing with the others as if nothing had happened.

~*~*~

Later that night as she was being tucked into bed, curiosity got the best of her and she asked her mother what happened.

Michi just shook her head sadly and explained that the couple from earlier was married. 

“I heard gossip that he cheated on her, and she got mad,” her mother explained. “But listen to me, Mai. No matter what, you should always remember this – _no one likes a mad woman_. You should always keep your emotions in check. Be a good, proper Fire Nation girl, and you’ll get far in life.”

She wanted to ask why no one seemed to be upset at the husband since he was the one who’d started it, but her mother shushed her.

“Go to sleep,” was all her mother said. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

But she laid awake in the dark for some time afterwards, listening to her parents talk in their bedroom next to hers.

“She was always so proper and charming before,” Mai heard her mother sigh. “What a shame she went mad.”

~*~*~

She was seven when she started at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, where they quickly discovered her skills with blades.

Unlike her parents, her teachers were impressed and urged her to take additional classes to hone her abilities.

It was in one of those classes at the Academy where she first met Fire Princess Azula, who outright admired her one day during target practice.

“So you can hit anything no matter how far away?” Azula inquired, and Mai nodded.

“Almost anything,” she replied coolly. “I never miss targets that are nearby, though.”

The princess seemed pleased to hear that, and soon Mai found herself in a friendship of sorts with her and another girl named Ty Lee.

She knew the princess was already a talented firebender despite her young age, with many whispering that she was leagues ahead of her older brother.

“ZuZu’s a joke,” Azula would say with a sniff as she demonstrated a perfect fire blast. “Dad says I would make a much better Fire Lord one day instead of him.”

Mai half-listened like she always did whenever her friend went off on her rants, twirling her blades around her fingers instead. She’d almost gotten to the point where she could do so without nicking her skin.

Nearby, Ty Lee practiced her handstands. They’d discovered she was skilled at chi-blocking, and since she’d always had an affinity for gymnastics, their instructors advised she combine the two.

“Would they let you be Fire Lord, though?” Ty Lee asked as she rolled forward into a sitting position, propping her chin up as her elbows rested on her knees. “What would happen to your brother?”

Azula rolled her eyes.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like my brother but I don’t think anyone would miss him except maybe Mom or my uncle,” she said. “He’s not the worst firebender ever but everyone already knows I’d be much better at the job.”

Mai had never met the prince before, but she almost felt a little sorry for him. Then again, her friend was usually right about everything, so she didn’t dwell on it.

~*~*~

She distinctly remembered the first time she ever saw Prince Zuko. 

By the time Mai was ten, her father had risen up in society, and one day Azula invited both of her friends to visit the palace for a sleepover. Her parents were absolutely ecstatic when they found out.

“Just remember your manners,” they repeated when their palanquin arrived inside the gates.

She rolled her eyes when they weren’t looking. Like she’d ever done anything in her life that was inappropriate before.

Mai remembered meeting Fire Lord Azulon himself, as well as Azula’s parents that morning. Crown Prince Iroh was occupied at the siege of Ba Sing Se, otherwise she’d have met him too.

She bowed perfectly like a proper Fire Nation girl and spoke only when spoken to first.

She especially remembered talking with Lady Ursa, who ate lunch with them later in the princess’ room and talked with all three girls.

“Tell me about yourself, Mai,” she said with a friendly smile, much unlike Azula’s. “My daughter says you’re very skilled with throwing blades.”

Ursa smiled when she heard how the girl picked up the habit when she was younger.

“You sound a little like my son,” she mused. “He’s always been fond of sword fighting. In fact, he just returned from Master Piandao’s earlier today. Maybe you two will become friends-”

As if on cue, an angry-looking boy slammed open the door, and Mai’s breath caught in her throat when she saw how golden his eyes were.

They were the same color as Azula’s, but warmer – more like honey than flames, she thought.

“Mom! Azula stole my favorite dagger while I was gone!” he shouted as he stormed inside.

Ursa raised an eyebrow and looked at her daughter, who wore an absolutely cherubic expression. She then turned her head back to him.

“Zuko my love, we have guests,” she said sweetly, gesturing to Mai and Ty Lee. “These are your sister’s friends from the Academy, the ones we told you about.”

Mai remembered the first time he ever looked at her directly, and how she felt a light fluttering in her stomach.

He suddenly remembered his manners and nodded as she and Ty Lee stood up and bowed, introducing themselves. The prince didn’t seem all that interested in meeting either of them, though.

Once the pleasantries were out of the way, he turned back to his mother.

“Mom, she stole the dagger Uncle Iroh sent me from Ba Sing Se,” he insisted, forgetting about the two of them altogether.

Ursa excused herself and Azula from lunch and pulled her children aside to resolve the argument.

“He’s kind of cute,” Ty Lee whispered to Mai, who secretly agreed but didn’t say so out loud. “Too bad he’s so weak.”

~*~*~

A few minutes later, Ursa returned with a scowling prince and a smug princess in tow.

“I’m sorry for the interruption,” she said just as sweetly as before, although she frowned slightly at her daughter. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go escort my son back to his room to help him look for his dagger.”

After they left, Azula cackled.

“She actually bought that!” she said gleefully, pulling the dagger in question from its hiding place in her room.

She made sure its cover was securely fastened and carefully tossed it to Mai.

“Here,” she said. “You should have it. You’ll get better use out of this than ZuZu ever will.”

Mai looked down at the dagger and read the inscription carved on its side about never giving up. She didn’t feel right taking it, but she didn’t say so out loud. Instead, she tucked it into her pocket.

Ty Lee giggled.

“I can’t believe you had it this whole time!” she said. “You’re so sneaky, Azula.”

They laughed, and Mai found herself giggling along with them, even though she couldn’t shake a strange feeling of guilt.

~*~*~

Later that afternoon, she joined Azula and Ty Lee in Ursa’s garden for tea, while Zuko practiced with his swords from a safe distance away. She found herself watching the prince, impressed.

Despite what Azula said, he was actually good. He still messed up from time to time, but then again he wasn’t a master yet.

She got so distracted that her friends finished their tea long before she did.

“When you get done, come meet us in my room,” Azula told her as she and Ty Lee left, leaving her alone with Ursa.

Mai nodded and she listened to their mother talk, fascinated at how different she was from her daughter. Supposedly Azula took after Ozai in personality, while her brother took after Ursa.

When she finished, she stood up and bowed politely, thanking her friend’s mother for her hospitality like she’d been taught to. The older woman just smiled and offered to escort her to rejoin her friends.

Before they left, though, Mai paused to watch the prince for a moment. Then she walked over to join him, although Ursa stayed behind with her lady-in-waiting to watch. 

Zuko was so focused on practicing that he almost hit her, and both yelped in surprise.

“What are you doing?” he asked exasperated. “Shouldn’t you be off with my sister finding new ways to make my life miserable?”

She ignored that and pointed to his blades.

“What kind are those?” she asked.

He looked confused and surprised that she was even asking.

“These are dual dao broadswords,” he explained, demonstrating how the two halves joined together. “But you probably don’t know much about swords, do you? Girls don’t care about that stuff.”

“ _I_ care about that stuff. That’s what I’m focusing on at the Academy. I’m really good at throwing knives and sais and stilettos.”

He looked intrigued.

“So you’re not a firebender like my sister and I?” he asked.

Mai shook her head but resisted sharing what Azula had said numerous times in the past about how his firebending wasn’t considered that impressive.

She’d never actually seen him bend before, and since his sister had sold his swordsmanship skills short, she wanted to see for herself before she passed judgement.

“Nope, but I’ve been throwing blades since I was six,” she said proudly.

He scoffed.

“Sure you have. But are you any good?”

Mai looked around and noticed Ursa was still standing off in the distance, watching them with a hint of a smile on her face. Thankfully, Azula and Ty Lee were nowhere in sight.

“Watch this,” she said, pointing to a tree near the pond.

She pulled the dagger out of her pocket, and when he saw it his eyes widened.

“You dropped this in your sister’s room,” she said pointedly, and he got the hint, frowning.

She glanced over at his mother, who didn’t look the least bit surprised, and Mai turned her attention back to the prince.

“Now go over to the tree and show me a place to aim.”

He did so, pointing at a random location before moving his finger and backing away.

“I’m not going to hit you.”

“I’d rather not take that chance.” 

She took a deep breath to steady herself, and then she threw the dagger with all of her might. Just as she expected, it hit its mark perfectly.

Zuko gawked at the blade embedded in the tree, then back at her. He carefully pulled it out and examined both before turning back to her.

“What did you say your name was?” he asked, walking over to her with a hint of a smile.

The prince walked with her and Ursa back to Azula’s room, and the entire time they talked excitedly about the different types of blades they’d seen and practiced with.

His mother hung back a bit, and more than once Mai thought she caught her smiling down at them.

~*~*~

Unfortunately, Azula somehow found out about what happened and got her revenge.

During her next visit, Mai found a flaming apple on her head and herself knocked into a fountain by Zuko.

As embarrassed as she was, it was actually nice being so close to him, she thought, even though he angrily stood up and huffed away immediately, grumbling about girls being crazy.

After that, she kept her distance from the prince to avoid his sister’s torment.

She still caught him smiling at her from time to time, and when Azula wasn’t looking, she’d smile back at him.

Once his father was crowned Fire Lord and Lady Ursa vanished, though, he didn’t smile nearly as much anymore.

~*~*~

Then one day, everything changed forever between them.

She and Ty Lee were hanging out with Azula in her bedroom when a servant rushed in, bowing and apologizing for the interruption. The princess frowned.

“What do you want?” she snapped. “I’m a little busy here with my friends. Speak.”

The servant nodded and looked even more nervous.

“My apologies, Princess Azula. It’s about your brother. He’s accepted a challenge for an Agni Kai, and we were sent to fetch you.”

Something in Mai’s stomach dropped, although she kept her composure. He wouldn’t have accepted it if he thought he couldn’t win. Surely that meant he had a chance, right?

She was twelve and had never seen an Agni Kai before, but she knew they could easily turn deadly. She looked over at Ty Lee and noticed her friend also looked a bit nervous as well.

Azula however seemed unimpressed.

“Who’s he fighting?”

~*~*~

That afternoon, Mai sat in the stands beside her father. Her mother opted not to attend, claiming she felt unwell, which happened more and more these days.

But Mai was too nervous to focus on that at the moment. She listened to the people around her murmuring and managed to pick up enough about what happened that led to this.

Apparently the prince snuck into one of his father’s war meetings and had spoken out of turn against a general. No one seemed to know just what it was about, but they knew Fire Lord Ozai was absolutely furious.

“I can’t believe he’s actually letting him fight the general,” she heard someone whisper. “Especially after showing that level of disrespect.”

She saw the back of Azula’s head down in front, standing near her uncle. She doubted her friend had any worries about this whatsoever. If anything, she was probably hoping her brother would lose.

Mai knew better than to show emotion, but she could feel herself shaking slightly when they lit the torches, signaling the Agni Kai was about to begin.

She saw the prince take his position, kneeling away from the center of the ring and waiting for his signal to begin. There was no sign of this general he was supposed to fight, though.

After a long silence, his opponent moved into position as well, and Mai couldn’t stop the gasp of horror that escaped her lips. Ukano was too stunned to chastise her, and she heard other gasps echoing throughout the arena.

She knew better than to stand up but she did so anyway. It was futile – there was no way he’d see her this high up in the audience, much less hear her, but she had to warn him somehow.

Then she felt Ukano’s hand on her shoulder as he forced her to sit back down. She knew better than to protest but still she turned to face him.

“Dad, he doesn’t know yet, he can’t possibly-”

“ _Silence_ ,” he hissed. “Do _not_ cause a scene, or so help me.”

She recoiled at the venom in his voice. He’d fussed at her plenty of times but she’d never heard that tone before.

Shaking, Mai turned and saw that Zuko was finally aware that his opponent was his own father, not the general. As high up as they were, she could still see the visible confusion and panic as it dawned on his face.

Then she heard the spectators whisper amongst themselves as he fell forward on his hands and knees instead of moving into a defensive position.

She watched as he begged for his father’s forgiveness, feeling sick to her stomach as the Fire Lord demanded again and again that he stand and fight.

The prince refused every single time, and towards the end, she thought she heard tears in his voice.

 _Get up_ , she wanted to yell. _Get out of there or fight him. Don’t just quit!_

She suddenly remembered his dagger from Ba Sing Se, the one that encouraged him never to give up, and she wondered if he would remember its words as well.

Then the Fire Lord stepped forward and declared that his son _would_ learn respect, and suffering would be his teacher.

Mai couldn’t breathe as she watched Zuko look up in horror, tears streaming openly down his face. Then she saw his father draw his hand back, and flames grew from his open palm.

She knew better than to stand and scream out for someone to stop this, but she did so anyway – or at least, she started to before her own father forced her back down in her seat and clamped his hand tightly over her mouth.

“ _Silence_ ,” her father hissed again, although he too looked scared.

Mai’s eyes flooded with tears as she made herself watch, and she couldn’t stop herself from crying out even though it was muffled against her father’s palm.

Her screams were instantly drowned out by the prince’s own below.

~*~*~

She didn’t remember much immediately after that; it was all a haze.

Mai was vaguely aware of people around her scoffing at their prince’s weakness, although she mainly heard frightened whispers from others who were horrified by the brutality they’d just witnessed.

Ukano forbade her from visiting the infirmary to see him afterwards, but she managed to sneak in for a few minutes anyway later that evening.

She and Ty Lee were already scheduled to spend the night, and the princess saw no need for those plans to change just because her brother got himself scarred and humiliated. 

Mai waited until they were asleep before she crept down to the infirmary and just barely avoided getting caught. She stopped for a moment when she reached the door, feeling sick to her stomach all over again.

Maybe she was mad for taking this risk, like that mad woman from the party. But then she knew she would hate herself if she didn’t do this, so she carefully pushed it open and slipped inside.

She saw long rows of empty beds, and his was down at the far end. She could also see his uncle had settled down for the night in a reclining chair nearby and was lightly snoring.

As Mai got closer she could see Zuko was still wide awake, facing away from her and staring out of the window up at the full moon.

It wasn’t until he heard the light pattering of her shoes on the floor that he turned his head to look at her. His good eye widened and he sat up.

“Mai? What are you doing here?” he whispered.

She hesitated when she got to his bed. She didn’t know what to say, so instead she hugged him. She’d never really hugged anyone before, to be honest, so it came as much of a surprise to her as well.

His breath caught in his throat, and after a minute he uncertainly slipped his arms around her. Then he buried his head against the crook of her neck and she heard him start to cry.

She was shocked. No one had ever cried around her, much less like this, and she didn’t know what to do.

So she pulled away, and later in life she would hate herself for it. 

She pulled away from the boy who she’d harbored a crush on for some time now, the one who’d just suffered unimaginable pain and would now carry a scar on his face for the rest of his life, the boy who needed _some_ small act of kindness.

All because she was too scared and didn’t know what to do when faced with an emotional outburst.

She would never forget the distraught look on his face as she did so, although he quickly composed himself again.

“Sorry,” he whispered, looking away. “I… I shouldn’t have shown weakness like that.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered back, even though they both knew it wasn’t.

He stared at the floor in silence, and she stood uncertainly beside the bed.

“What’s going to happen to you?” she asked, feeling a sense of dread in her stomach.

He didn’t look up when he answered.

“I’m being banished. My father will make the announcement tomorrow when I leave, and I’ll have my head shaved too. The only way I can return home with honor is if I find the Avatar and bring him back with me.”

Mai clapped her hand over her mouth in shock. It was utterly hopeless; the Avatar hadn’t been seen in nearly a hundred years. She would probably never see the prince again.

For a moment she was tempted to turn around, find the Fire Lord himself and yell at him, but she knew the second she did that she’d be killed for her insolence.

Ozai had proven earlier he wouldn’t tolerate even the slightest disrespect, even if it was from his own son. He wouldn’t hesitate to do something far worse to an angry little girl.

Instead, Mai reached out and held his hand for just a moment.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Yeah, me too,” he said bitterly. “I really like you a lot, but I guess that’s not going to happen now.”

Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes widened, but before she could reply, they heard voices and footsteps coming from outside in the corridors.

“I have to go before someone catches me,” she whispered, wanting to cry when she saw his face crumple before he nodded.

She pulled him in for a final hug before she turned and ran off into the darkness.

Only once she was safely back in her bed in Azula’s room did she pull a pillow over her face and allow the tears to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

_And when he calls, he calls for me, not for you_  
_He prays for love, he prays for peace_  
_And maybe someone new  
But I can't help him, can't make him better_  
_And I can't do nothing about his strange weather_

Shades of Cool - Lana del Rey

* * *

Several years passed before Mai saw Zuko again, on the night Ba Sing Se was overthrown.

After the Earth King had escaped with his bear and the Avatar’s companions, trapping Ty Lee in stone in the process, Mai went off in search of a Dai Li agent to free her.

By the time she returned with an earthbender in tow, however, she saw her friend had already been released, and she wasn’t alone. Mai dismissed the agent, and he bowed before walking away.

Her breath caught in her throat when she realized who was standing with Azula, even though it really shouldn’t have surprised her.

He was facing off to the side, staring out at the empty throne room, giving her an excellent view of his profile. And _oh_ , he had grown so tall and handsome over the last few years, she thought as she paused in the shadows for just a second.

The night of the Agni Kai, he’d admitted that he liked her but didn’t see anything happening since he was about to be banished. Now, it looked like they could finally make up for lost time.

“Oh good, Mai, there you are,” Azula said with a trace of a smirk as she walked in. “You remember my brother, don’t you?”

With that, he whipped his head around and looked at her with those golden eyes she remembered all too well.

She hadn’t seen him in person since his last night in the Fire Nation when the left side of his face was still covered by bandages. His scar wasn’t as bad as she’d been expecting, and it did nothing to detract from his overall attractiveness.

He bowed his head, smiling at her, even though in hindsight it seemed a little strained.

“Mai,” he said politely, and his voice had grown raspy over the years as well.

She kept her composure even though she was tempted to swoon like a stupid girl, and instead she bowed like a good, proper Fire Nation woman.

“Long time no see, Prince Zuko,” she said demurely, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Azula and Ty Lee exchange a conspiratorial smirk. 

The princess wasn’t too upset when she learned how Ty Lee had been incapacitated. Even if the Avatar somehow managed to survive that lightning shot to the back, she bragged, he was still as good as dead anyways.

At this, Zuko glanced down and looked slightly uncomfortable, but that quickly passed. However, his sister noticed immediately.

“Not having second thoughts, are we dear brother?” she asked coolly, and he shook his head.

His eyes met Mai’s, and he forced a smile.

“Of course not,” he replied. “I can’t wait to go back home.” 

Soon after, Azula dismissed them so she could have a private conversation with her brother. As Mai and Ty Lee left, she glanced back and noticed he was watching her.

When their eyes met, the prince flashed her a smile that she hadn't seen in several years. It was almost as genuine as the ones he used to give her before his mother disappeared.

~*~*~

She hoped once they returned to the Fire Nation that things could go back to the way they were, but she soon learned that wasn’t the case.

Mai knew he’d survived a lot of harrowing experiences during his banishment, but that was all over now. He was royalty, it was time to forget about all of that and go back to acting like a prince again.

There were occasions he still slipped up and acted like a servant or _worse_ , a lowborn peasant, especially whenever the four of them had tea. He’d offer to pour before he remembered himself, folding his hands in his lap and looking down.

The first time he did so, Mai just stared at him, along with his sister and Ty Lee.

“Dum-dum, you’re a prince, remember?” Azula scoffed. “You don’t pour your own tea, much less offer to clean up afterwards. We have servants for that.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Force of habit.”

Mai frowned. She knew his father would restore his honor, but the last thing Zuko needed was to be thought of as weak or pathetic again.

He needed to forget the past, and she would help him, somehow.

~*~*~

Slowly but surely, she helped him settle back into the lap of luxury.

Whenever they attended royal parties (extremely dull affairs altogether, but at least the food was divine), he finally stopped acting like a peasant and more like a prince.

Mai still caught his eyes flicker downwards whenever a servant was berated nearby, but he didn't attempt to interfere or come to their defense. He'd done that once before right after his return, but upon seeing the stares from everyone else he quickly put an end to that behavior.

Occasionally she also caught him looking uncomfortable whenever someone brought up the fall of Ba Sing Se. 

At one party, some utterly inebriated noble (known for making lewd jokes the drunker he got) made a quip about conquering the women of the impenetrable city in a different way.

"Tell me, Prince Zuko, did you get to sample any of the women while you were living in Ba Sing Se?" the drunken nobleman drawled a bit too loudly. "Are they any more penetrable than their city's walls? I bet they're as filthy as their element-"

The prince immediately stopped him, his eyes round and face flushed.

"Absolutely not," he said hurriedly. "That being said, I don't know if I'd call people of the Earth Kingdom filthy, though-"

Then Mai rolled her eyes, dragging him away under the pretense of getting another drink. As they left, they heard the conversation turn even more obscene.

Zuko still looked visibly uncomfortable, but he quickly downed an entire glass of wine in a few gulps. Soon he was smiling again, even though it was obviously forced.

"Look, we all know he's a disgusting creep," Mai hissed in his ear. "But who cares about them? They're all terrible. Forget about those people."

"Who's terrible? The Earth Kingdom citizens, the crowd back there, or both?"

"Take your pick."

"You truly are beautiful when you hate the world," he said dryly, echoing their conversation watching the sunset from a few weeks ago. "You know, just because someone isn't from nobility doesn't mean they're trash."

She frowned at him.

"Can you at least _try_ to pretend like you didn't just spend the last few years living amongst all of those peasants?" 

Now it was his turn to frown.

"Why act like I didn't?" he asked in a low voice. "I didn't like being poor either, but it happened." 

He paused.

"Besides, there were actually some good people living in that city when we took over-"

"Ugh, like that one girl from the slums you went on a date with?" she groaned. "I still can't believe you actually went through with it, much less kissed her." 

He chose not to answer, instead flagging down a server for another glass of wine. She sighed.

"This party's so boring, want to go find a dark corner?" she asked, knowing that at least would cheer him up.

Once again he downed the glass immediately.

"Absolutely," he declared, passing it off to the same server and offering his hand to her like a proper Fire Nation gentleman. 

As they made their way through the crowd, they overheard more laughter and gossip about the Earth Kingdom, as well as talk about how backwards those Water Tribe savages were.

He clenched his jaw slightly and his grip on her hand tightened, although he didn't say anything as he led her through the sea of people.

~*~*~

Her parents were still away at New Ozai with her brother, so she had their family house all to herself, if one didn't count the servants.

Of course, _now_ they encouraged her to show more personality, only after they became high-ranking members of society. They certainly didn't try to stifle Tom-Tom's personality like they'd done with hers all of her life.

The hypocrisy infuriated her, so she had chosen to stay here instead. She absolutely hated that city, and while the capital wasn't much better, at least she was with her boyfriend. 

Every so often, Zuko would stay overnight, and one evening after yet another party he asked her a strange question as they stretched out on her bed.

"If you were locked in a room with your enemy, I'm talking someone you've hated for ages, what would you do?"

She picked her head up off his shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

"What kind of question is that?"

"A rhetorical one. Humor me."

"Well, I'd either fight them or kill them, but I'd also try to escape," she replied. "Why?"

"What if you found out that you both had more in common than you realized, like a similar past trauma? Then you found out you could help them somehow. Would you do it, if there was nothing in it for you?"

"Of course not. Nobody in their right mind would do that for their enemy."

He made a sound of agreement and looked off in the distance, lost in thought.

"Seriously, why would you even ask something like that? What's on your mind?"

Zuko hesitated.

"Well, I actually met someone like that, down in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se," he said, eyes glazing over at the memory. "That waterbender girl on the Avatar's team-"

She suddenly didn't like the direction this conversation had taken.

"What, did you kiss her, too?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

At that he smirked and kissed Mai, giving her a playful squeeze.

"Of course not," he assured her. "I’m pretty sure she was dating the Avatar before he died. Besides, she's _definitely_ not my type."

She scoffed.

"I'll say. The Fire Prince with a Water Tribe peasant? That's just preposterous."

He frowned slightly.

"You like to throw out that word a lot, calling everyone who isn't noble a peasant."

"Am I wrong, though? I mean, I could barely tolerate being in the dirtier parts of the Earth Kingdom, but at least they're not as poor and backwards as the Water Tribes."

He scowled, but his expression quickly faded as his features became neutral once more.

”What was that look for?” she asked, sensing yet another argument was on the horizon.

”Nothing,” he said a little too quickly. 

Then he saw her raised eyebrow and sighed. 

”It’s just... I got the chance to talk one-on-one with that girl while we were trapped, before I joined up with Azula, and she’s actually not that bad. She was really nice to me when she didn't have to be, even though we were enemies.”

Mai narrowed her eyes.

"Nice as in? You didn't defile yourself, did you-"

"Oh come on! Of course not," he grimaced. "Do you remember back before I came to my senses, when Uncle Iroh and I faced off against my sister in that abandoned town? Did she ever tell you that she shot lightning at him?"

"Obviously."

"Well, even though we were on opposite sides, that girl still offered to help heal Uncle."

She frowned.

"You have a soft spot for her because she offered to heal your traitor uncle?"

He looked away and was quiet for a minute.

"That's not all," he said softly, fidgeting slightly. "When we were in the catacombs, I found out she also lost her mother at a young age, and we talked about that for a while."

She sighed. Mai knew how much his mother had meant to him, and she too missed the kindly older woman from time to time. But Ursa was gone now, and it did no good dwelling on it.

"Unfortunately lots of people lose their mothers," she said in a soft voice. "It's not that uncommon. Just because you meet someone else who's lost a person they care about, it doesn't mean you have to share a bond with them."

He looked like he was still lost in thought, and she sighed.

“Assuming she's even still alive, she was just some lowborn Water Tribe girl. Do you see her here with us?"

He shook his head.

"That's because she's the enemy, just like everyone else in that group. Forget about her."

With that she pulled his face to meet hers, and indeed everything weighing on his mind seemed to vanish as he rolled over on top, deepening the kiss.

In hindsight Mai probably should have asked if anything else happened down in the catacombs, but she really didn't want to talk about the waterbender girl anymore.

~*~*~

Zuko also began drinking heavily, which she initially chalked up to boredom or maybe even anxiety from being away from home for so long.

It didn't really bother her, at least not at first - they raided her parents' whiskey and wine cellars and spent many afternoons and nights drinking together, gossiping about nobles and other hot topics of scandal in the Fire Nation.

Eventually he started doing it more often, taking shots before certain parties or dinners to calm his nerves. It was never enough to actually get drunk, just enough to take the edge off.

She didn't mind until she noticed he was drinking more and more often when it was the two of them, alone. It was almost as if he needed to have some sort of crutch just to be around her or the rest of the Fire Nation in general.

He had nightmares too, which began after the first night he slept over. Soon they started happening more frequently. She'd wake up and roll over, ask groggily what was wrong, and he'd shake his head.

"Nothing," he murmured. "Just a bad dream again. Go back to sleep."

At that, he'd roll out of bed and pour a glass of whiskey to dull his senses. Eventually she learned how to block it out enough to stay asleep.

Then one night, she woke up and noticed the bed was empty yet again. She frowned but pulled the covers up around her shoulders, closing her eyes. As she dozed off, she thought she heard him mumbling to himself from the other room.

Then she was jolted awake by the sound of glass breaking. Immediately she sat up, pulled on her robe, and followed the sound of the crash into a nearby room.

Zuko looked ashamed when he saw her standing in the doorway, and he immediately stared down at the floor. 

"Sorry," he muttered. "I was drinking and the glass slipped out of my hands. I'll get the mess cleaned up. Go back to sleep, Mai."

She was too groggy to argue that was the servants' job, so she nodded and turned away to return to her bedroom.

But she paused once she was outside the door and listened for a moment.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" she heard him whisper, sounding almost horrified with himself.

She peered around the door frame and saw him standing with his back to her, his hands grasping at the hair on the back of his head. Then she heard him choke back a sob.

Mai considered going back, but she knew it was a lost cause. He always pushed her away or closed himself off whenever he was upset.

But she had never seen him like _this_ before. It reminded her of the night before he was banished, when he’d briefly cried on her shoulder, and just like that night so long ago, his emotional outburst scared her.

After a moment of hesitation, she swallowed thickly and left him in the dark to calm down and get it all out of his system.

It wasn't until the next morning that she noticed powdery small crystals shimmering in the sunlight beside the wall. When she got closer she knelt down and realized it was remnants of broken glass.

As she stood back up she noticed a faint stain a little higher on the wall above it, almost as if a drink had been thrown against it and shattered upon impact.

~*~*~

Soon after their return home, her relationship with the prince also turned physical.

Things started off calmly enough, with a few chaste kisses that quickly grew deeper and more passionate. Then those turned more desperate, and soon they were doing much more than just locking lips.

She still wasn’t completely comfortable opening up but she learned how to make him whimper with just her mouth as she took him, and he’d always return the favor.

It started off as a game between them. He wanted to see what kisses and caresses could dissolve her cool exterior, and while the nips at her neck and her upper body always felt nice, she always came undone whenever he rested her knees on his shoulders.

He learned how to make her writhe with just his mouth, and eventually she'd cry out in spite of herself. After, he'd always give her a smug look and she'd roll her eyes, even as her heart fluttered and her body trembled with rapture.

They never ventured past a certain point, though. She felt safe enough to an extent with him, but even she had her limits, and so did he.

But as their relationship dragged on, it seemed like they fought as much as they had fun, sometimes even more. Occasionally they even got into screaming matches but making up made it all worth it.

Once they actually broke up during a beach party, although they got back together later that same night.

He was just so rash and mercurial sometimes, while she was calm and rational, and they usually locked horns whenever he started bringing up the past.

They always fell into each other’s arms afterwards, but she was getting tired of trying to keep him focused on the present and picking up his broken pieces.

~*~*~

It all came to a head when he found out about his father’s private meeting with the military leaders scheduled for the next day.

He moped around all afternoon once he realized he'd been excluded, and she tried to cheer him up as best she could. 

"It's just a dumb meeting, who cares?" she asked. "Why would you even want to go?"

She reminded him of what happened at the last meeting he went to, and he morosely conceded that she was right.

Then she suggested they order servants around for fun - there were a few in particular who got really flustered, and it was always hilarious to see the panicked looks upon their faces.

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?" he asked sharply. "They're just doing the best they can. Besides, I used to be where they are now, remember?" 

She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, but now it's your turn. Think about all of the snobs you had to serve back then. Now's your chance to be the one ordering people around."

But he just frowned and turned away from her instead.

~*~*~

The next day, he was astonished to learn he was invited to attend the meeting after all, and he even sat at the Fire Lord's right hand.

It was everything he’d ever wanted – his father finally treated him as a proper heir to the throne, and Zuko was finally being honored like true nobility.

Except that _still_ wasn’t enough for him, even though he'd been upset the night before about not being invited.

“During the meeting, I was the perfect prince,” he explained as they stood before the Fire Lord’s painting afterwards. “The son my father wanted. But I wasn't me.”

At this she frowned, but she waited until they were back in the privacy of her house before she pried further.

“What do you mean, you weren't you?” she asked. “You’re Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. This is what you were born to do, isn’t it?”

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Sometimes I just don’t know who I am anymore…” he began, but she cut him off.

“Not this again,” she groaned, rolling her eyes.

His own narrowed as he glared at her. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

She scoffed.

“How many times will you keep going back to this? No matter what, we always end up here. You’re a prince, it’s time you stopped moping about the past and started focusing on the present.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“Excuse me for dwelling on the past, I’ve been through a lot over the last few years.”

“Join the club,” she retorted. “You’re not the only one who’s had problems. Just be grateful yours aren’t worse.”

He was scowling at her now, his temper clearly on the verge of erupting.

“I knew you wouldn’t understand,” he grumbled.

“What don’t I understand? Talk to me.”

“What’s the point? You’ll just brush me off like you always do-”

“That’s because you get so caught up worrying about things and people that don’t matter!” she snapped, jabbing her finger against his chest. “Like just now, when you were whining and asking who you were supposed to be. Who do _you_ think you are? Because sometimes I don’t like the person you act like.”

"How would you like me to act, then?!"

She glared at him.

"I miss the old Zuko, the one from when we were younger, before you got so moody and angry all of the time."

“Well I’m _sorry_ that I'm not the same person I was when we were kids!” he growled, his fists clenched by his side. “In case you haven’t noticed, _I’ve changed_.”

Then he stopped and his eyes widened, as if he was frozen in place. He slowly lifted his left hand to his face and touched his scar with his fingertips.

“I’ve changed,” he said quietly this time, and he looked like his thoughts were a million miles away.

He closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled before he opened them again. 

“I _have_ changed...” he whispered, as if he was saying it to the ghost of someone who was no longer there.

She frowned and tucked her hands into her sleeves.

He never talked about his scar, and she never did ask him exactly what happened in that war meeting so long ago that led to him receiving it. She doubted he'd want to talk about it, anyways.

“Well, obviously,” she said, her voice much gentler now. “I was there when it happened, remember? Your scar doesn't define you, Zuko.”

He slumped down on her bed and cradled his head, his elbows propped up on his knees. His hands slid upwards, grasping the hair on the back of his head as he stared at the floor.

Then he spoke again, and this time his voice was hoarse.

"Did I ever tell you the last thing my mother said to me before she disappeared?" he asked, and she shook her head. "She told me, 'no matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.' Except so much is different now, and I don't know what to do anymore."

"What do you mean, you don't know what to do?" she asked, confused now.

He didn't elaborate, though, and there was a long silence.

"Well, you should take your mother's advice and remember who you are," she said, hoping her tone sounded encouraging.

There was another long silence.

“And just who am I, Mai?” he asked in barely above a whisper.

Was he being serious? He knew she hated it whenever he waxed philosophical like this. She was getting tired of being his personal therapist.

“You’re the Fire Prince,” she said in exasperation. “You’re royalty, not some lowborn servant who pours tea or associates with other peasants. You belong here in the Fire Nation with the other members of nobility… you belong with _me_.”

He still didn’t look up at her, and she sighed. Why couldn’t he understand? The past was the past. There was no point in dwelling on it.

She sat down beside him and reached out to cup his cheek, turning his face towards her.

“You just need to forget what happened,” she said, kissing his scar and all around his face. “You’re not that person anymore.”

He nodded slowly, as if trying to figure out a problem.

"I'm not that person anymore..." he repeated, looking at her but not _seeing_ what was in front of him.

Her lips met his, but he didn’t reciprocate like he usually did whenever she kissed him. She pulled back and ran her fingers through his hair, biting her lower lip for just a moment.

She hesitated before she spoke again, but she decided to fully commit to her next decision.

Maybe if he saw how much she cared, he would forget whatever demons were haunting him. Maybe once she did this for him, he’d finally let go of the past, and his whole heart could finally belong to her.

“I know,” she breathed at last. “I know how to help you forget.”

Her hand dropped from his face, and her nails lightly trailed up and down the length of his thigh. His eyes widened in realization and he finally looked at her directly.

She allowed herself the smile she only wore whenever she was around him, and she nudged him to lie back against the mattress.

Her hand resumed stroking his thigh, moving further inward until he tilted his head backwards and slowly exhaled a few wisps of smoke, closing his eyes and breathing heavily.

She smirked at his reaction and knew she’d won. She leaned over and kissed him.

“Want to?” she asked.

Those golden eyes she loved so much fluttered open, and he nodded.

Mai paused. It wasn't too late to back out, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't want to do this. She hoped it would help him feel better, too.

“I had something different in mind this time,” she whispered.

She sat back and slowly pulled off her outer robe and dress until she was completely bare before him.

He looked stunned, and for just a moment he looked almost scared, too. But that quickly passed, as his eyes filled with lust instead and he stripped his clothes off as well.

~*~*~

“I don’t really know what to do.”

His facial features betrayed his apprehension as he looked down at her, in position and waiting for her permission to go further. 

He never was as good at hiding his emotions as she was, and the fear was evident in his eyes.

Even so, she suddenly realized she was a little nervous as well. But she swallowed, and she nodded at him to continue.

“I don’t either, but we’ll figure it out together. Let me help you forget.”

When his face contorted into a blend of ecstasy and astonishment once she'd completely taken him for the first time, it was almost enough to distract her from her own discomfort.

To his credit, he'd done his best to alleviate that side effect beforehand, and he was gentleman enough to wait until she was ready before he started moving.

He was slow and uncertain at first, gradually building up confidence.

Then he grasped at the sheets surrounding them as his thrusts eventually grew more ferocious, even growling at one point, and she thought she’d finally helped him forget the past.

Afterwards, she found herself panting as she came down from her high and said the words she’d always wanted to tell him.

“I love you, Zuko,” she gasped as they laid there catching their breath, kissing him with far more passion than she’d ever shown before in her life.

He was silent for a few minutes, and she assumed he was in shock and still processing what they’d just done.

Finally, he whispered it back to her.

~*~*~

She slept well that night, and if he had any nightmares, she didn't hear them.

At one point she turned over and saw he was wide awake, his hands resting behind his neck and staring at the ceiling with an unreadable expression on his face.

But at least he was still here, not slinking off to the other room to drown his sorrows.

She chalked that up as a small victory before she dozed off again.

~*~*~

To her frustration, though, the next morning he seemed to completely shut down and closed himself off.

He was brusque whenever he did speak, at one point leaning over the side of the couch and turning his body away from her. 

"What's wrong?" she asked for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, feeling her exasperation growing. "I enjoyed last night. Didn't you?" 

He sighed, and after a moment he nodded.

"It's not supposed to be perfect the first few times," she assured him, reaching out to rub his back as he continued facing away.

Surely that was all he was upset about, right?

"But the more we practice, the better we'll get at it," she said, her hand dropping down to stroke his thigh once again.

His hands clenched into fists for just a moment, and he let out a ragged breath before he eventually led her back towards her bedroom.

~*~*~

They came together a few more times and afterwards, she always proclaimed her love for him.

Maybe the more she told him, she could fix him, somehow.

He always gave her a smile, and she realized in hindsight that it never quite reached his eyes.

"You too," he would repeat before turning away from her and falling asleep soon after.

And like one of those stupid girls she always mocked, she actually believed him.

~*~*~

But then he was gone less than a week later, exiling himself from the Fire Nation and effectively renouncing all of his titles and birthrights.

All he left Mai was a pitiful excuse of a break-up letter and a broken heart to remember him by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The show was coy about it, what with the censors and all, but I'd be surprised if Mai and Zuko didn't hook up during "Nightmares and Daydreams." 
> 
> It adds another element to why Mai felt so betrayed that he left her soon after with just a break-up note. 
> 
> Also, if you had told me at the beginning of the year that I, a Zutarian since 2006, would write mild Mai + Zuko smut, much less this entire fic, I would have thought you were insane. Yet here we are. Was it as weird for me as it was for you? Absolutely. However, it’s a turning point in their relationship and I couldn’t avoid it altogether, so I tried to do it justice.


	3. Chapter 3

_Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies_  
_Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light  
And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again_

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac / Evanescence

* * *

Zuko slumped over in his seat, running the fabric of his prison clothes between his fingers, and he refused to look at her.

“I gave you _everything_ ,” she hissed, resisting the urge to slap him like the mad woman from that party all those years ago. “And not only did you dump me, you didn’t even have the spine to do it face-to-face. Instead, all I get is a letter.”

She threw it at his head to emphasize her point, and he flinched, still avoiding eye contact.

“You could have least looked me in the eye when you ripped out my heart,” she said, glaring at him.

It wasn’t the fact that she’d given up that part of herself that angered Mai the most – she never really cared what society thought about things like that, anyways. Rather, it was the principle of the matter.

She’d decided to open her heart and body to him to make him feel better, and he’d just taken what he wanted as if she were no better than a common whore.

“Mai, you’re right, I shouldn’t have done... any of that,” he mumbled. “I really shouldn’t have gone along with it, but I was just so _desperate_ to feel better, I was looking for anything to clear my mind-”

“So ultimately I was nothing more than a distraction,” she interrupted, fuming. “I open myself to you, I tell you that I love you, but that didn’t matter as long as you got off, is that right?”

He finally looked up at her then, frowning.

“That’s not – I didn’t mean for it to happen like that,” he protested weakly.

“Of course you didn’t,” she snapped. “The truth is, I guess I don't know you at all, do I?”

He didn’t answer, instead staring back down at the floor, so she grabbed the letter and read aloud from it.

_"Dear Mai, I'm sorry that you have to find out this way, but I'm leaving-”_

That finally got him to stand up, and he looked thoroughly exasperated as he faced her.

"Stop it!" he snapped, running his hand through his hair. "This isn't about you, Mai, this is about the Fire Nation!"

Like _that_ was supposed to make her feel any better.

"Mai," he said sounding almost sincere, "I never wanted to hurt you, but I have to do this to save my country."

 _Seriously?_ she thought, her patience nearly gone by now.

How in the name of Agni did he think he would accomplish that by running away?

~*~*~

For the life of her, she couldn’t explain why she chose to help him a short time later.

She opened herself to him, and he’d dumped her a few days later.

She tried to make him see that he was royalty and worth more than all of those peasants he’d encountered during his banishment, and he defected, renouncing his birthright.

She confronted him for breaking her heart, and he locked her in a cell, staring down at her she glared up at him through the small opening near the bottom of the door.

And yet, here she stood, creating a diversion so he could escape.

As she faced off against the guards, standing between them and the man she still loved against all odds, her answer somehow came easily when they asked what she was doing.

“Saving the jerk who dumped me,” she declared resolutely.

Maybe she was a mad woman after all, despite her parents’ best efforts to raise her differently.

At one point she managed to look over in Zuko's direction, but he was running away from her once more, with a few other prisoners in tow. It was too late to call out or follow him, though.

Instead, she soon found herself face-to-face with his furious sister.

Her former friend looked outright murderous as Mai coldly explained how Azula, ever the mastermind, had miscalculated after all.

“I love Zuko more than I fear you,” she declared, readying one of her stilettos as the princess roared back a retort and prepared to fire a lightning blast at her.

Mai knew she had little chance of surviving if the blue flames struck her, but at least she’d die saving the man she loved. That seemed as good a way to end her life as any.

But then both she and Azula were stunned when Ty Lee made her choice and took down the princess with a few well-placed chi blocks.

~*~*~

Being the warden's niece came with some perks, especially since the princess demanded she and Ty Lee be left to rot inside prison for their betrayal.

After Azula and the royal entourage left, her uncle immediately moved them to nicer quarters.

"I've still got to keep you both locked up, technically, but at least this room isn't some dank cell," he explained.

It wasn't ideal, but she had to admit the new accommodations were a bit more tolerable. The beds were more comfortable and they actually had some level of privacy.

Her uncle also kept them informed of whatever news he heard from the palace, as well as other rumblings from around the Fire Nation. She usually didn't pay attention to reports of random attacks, finding them dull and repetitive.

But one day a message came through from the leader of the Southern Raiders, alerting them to a rogue male firebender partnered up with a female waterbender.

Somehow, he said, the waterbender managed to control his body and stop him right in his tracks before she released him.

Mai's ears perked up then. There weren't that many rogue firebenders running around, at least not ones who teamed up with the enemy.

She suddenly remembered her conversation with Zuko about the Water Tribe girl from the catacombs who left such an impression on him, and thinking about it made her stomach drop. 

She wondered at this but chose not to mention her suspicions to anyone.

~*~*~

She got that same sinking feeling a few weeks later when she overheard some of the guards talking about a new theatrical production they saw recently, put on by the Ember Island Players.

Mai remembered how Zuko and Azula used to reminisce about going to the plays with their parents, and how utterly awful the actors were. But it made their mother happy, so they always grinned and bared it for Ursa’s sake.

Apparently this newest performance chronicled the adventures of the Avatar and his friends, as well as the royal siblings’ involvement. She was relieved to hear that she and Ty Lee had been delegated to minor nonspeaking roles, but her friend was a bit disappointed nonetheless.

The play sounded absolutely atrocious from how the guards described it, and it ended with the Avatar and Zuko getting utterly defeated and destroyed by Ozai and Azula.

As mad as she was, she still cared about him and hated the idea of Zuko getting hurt or killed, especially if it was at the hands of his sister.

But there was one particular scene the guards discussed that caught her attention.

“I wonder how true that catacombs scene was, with the prince and that waterbender girl,” she overheard one say.

“What was that?” she asked sharply, and they looked embarrassed when they realized she was listening to their conversation.

She folded her arms and hid her hands inside of her sleeves.

“No, don't stop on my account. I want to hear what happens.”

They stammered as they explained how in the play, Zuko and the Avatar’s waterbending teacher struck up a brief romance and even shared a kiss at the end of the catacombs scene.

“But I heard from a friend who knows one of the actors that they only included it because they were supposed to pair her off with the Avatar at first, but the actresses didn’t want to kiss each other,” one of the guards said helpfully.

Somehow, that did nothing to quell her rage.

“I actually talked with Zuko about that encounter back when we were dating,” she said coldly. “I can assure you that definitely did _not_ happen.”

“Of course not, Lady Mai!” another guard said, all of them bowing in embarrassment.

But she still couldn’t help but feel a little nauseous. She knew Zuko and the girl had talked and even bonded over their missing mothers.

What else had happened while the two of them were trapped down there, alone?

When she confronted him about the break-up letter, she had admitted she felt like she didn't know him after all. How wrong she'd been.

If she saw Zuko now, she doubted she'd even recognize him.

~*~*~

A few weeks after Sozin's Comet blazed through the skies, they received a scroll from the palace, officially pardoning both of them. Her uncle frowned once he reached the signature at the end of the note, and he looked up at the messenger suspiciously.

"Am I reading this correctly?" he asked, scowling as the man nodded.

Ty Lee tilted her head in confusion, but Mai just folded her arms, keeping her expression neutral.

An official pardon from the Fire Lord meant it came from either Ozai or perhaps even Azula, now that the former had passed the title on to his daughter, taking up the name of Phoenix King.

Neither of them was expecting what her uncle said next.

"Signed, the acting leader of the Fire Nation, at least until his coronation..." he read, handing it off to his niece directly. "... _Prince Zuko_."

Ty Lee gasped and Mai's eyes widened when she read his familiar signature.

Her uncle wasted no time and immediately interrogated the messenger how this was possible.

The man explained how the self-exiled Fire Prince had teamed up with the Avatar and finished his training. Then Zuko had faced off against Azula and won the throne, while Avatar Aang defeated Ozai and stripped him of his bending forever.

Despite her shock, Mai couldn't stop a smile from spreading across her face. Against all odds, Zuko had finally done it.

He would be crowned Fire Lord just like he'd always wanted to be, and of course, once his coronation was over he would eventually have to choose a Fire Lady...

But those thoughts were immediately interrupted as the messenger continued.

"That's not the wildest part," he said, leaning forward. "Prince Zuko almost died during the Agni Kai against his sister, but you see, he brought a girl with him - a waterbender.”

Mai suddenly felt a cold shiver down her spine. Was this the same girl who offered to heal his uncle, from the Southern Raiders incident, from that one scene in the play?

It _had_ to be.

"I've just heard rumors, but what my friend tells me is that the princess tried to attack the other girl, but he intercepted and took lightning to the heart trying to save her."

Ty Lee looked over at her friend with a concerned look in her eyes, which Mai pointedly ignored.

"So did this really happen or is it just rumors?" her uncle snapped.

The messenger visibly started sweating and mumbled that technically, he hadn't seen it, but those were the rumors flying around the Fire Nation these days.

“But it kind of makes sense,” he protested nervously. “Did you hear about that catacombs scene from that one play?”

At that, her uncle rudely shoved him out of the door and slammed it behind him.

"Rumors," he scoffed. "I don't trust them. Well, time to send you both home. Maybe you two can find out what really happened."

~*~*~

Mai felt cautiously optimistic in spite of herself as she and Ty Lee walked down the hallways of the palace once more.

Surely those rumors had been the product of some bored servants and citizens, and even if there was any truth to them, they had to be highly embellished.

She knew now that perhaps she didn't know Zuko as well as she'd thought, but surely, he would never give up the one thing he wanted most with so much on the line, right?

Especially not if it came down to choosing between his birthright and some Water Tribe peasant.

But the two of them rounded the corner and discovered the Avatar's group of friends waiting outside of Fire Lord's private office. Even then she ignored the knots forming in the pit of her stomach.

She zoned out as Ty Lee hugged the others and excitedly explained how she'd decided to become a Kyoshi Warrior after meeting several of them at the Boiling Rock.

Really, Mai didn't understand why her friend chose that path, but at least she seemed happy.

It wasn't until the Avatar himself and the waterbender's brother tried to politely send them away that she finally began to realize the horrible truth.

“You may not want to be here when that door opens,” the Avatar said in a voice meant to be soothing, but it only enraged her instead.

She narrowed her eyes and frowned at him.

“And just why is that?” she asked coldly. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business. I’m here to see Zuko, not you.”

Ty Lee tilted her head, confused.

“What’s going on?” she asked. “Why don’t we want to be here when he comes out? Who’s in there with him?”

Suddenly Mai realized _who_ their group was missing besides Zuko. Those whispers she’d heard couldn’t possibly have any merit.

_Could they?_

She suddenly felt sick with dread, and there was a pause that seemed to last an eternity.

“Zuko’s in there with my father and my sister,” the Water Tribesman finally said, looking down.

Mai felt her heart beating just a bit quicker, but she maintained her cool exterior. Somehow.

“Discussing what?” she asked calmly, although she couldn’t completely keep the edge out of her voice.

He didn't look at her when he spoke again.

“Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?” he asked quietly.

And just like that, her entire world completely shattered.

~*~*~

Mai managed to keep her composure until she was safely out of earshot and eyesight of the others before she barely stifled a scream, fighting back tears.

She couldn't help herself. No one liked a mad woman, even though she felt she deserved every right to be furious by this turn of events.

How could he do this to her? How _dare_ he?

Ty Lee followed after her despite being ordered not to, and she immediately pulled her friend in for a hug.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, but Mai just pushed her aside.

She took a deep, labored breath.

"I want to see Azula. I want to hear from her what happened."

With that, she flagged down a servant for information as Ty Lee could only stand there, horrified on her friend's behalf.

~*~*~

They were stopped by the guards outside of Azula’s cell, who frowned at them when they recognized the noblewomen.

“We’re not friends with her anymore,” Mai explained coolly. “We're just here for information and to see how low she’s fallen.”

The guards frowned again but let them enter, albeit under supervision.

Mai took a moment to compose herself and exhale before she stepped forward into the princess' line of sight.

It was a prison cell, but it was decorated more comfortably than what one usually encountered while behind bars. There were numerous scrolls nearby to entertain her, and from the looks of it, those still hadn’t been opened.

Azula was dressed in long white robes and her hands were bound together. Chi blockers stood nearby, ready to disarm her in case she attempted to escape.

She sat in a soft-looking chair, legs crossed and her fingertips laced together. She almost looked sane, as if she hadn't had a complete mental breakdown weeks earlier.

Ty Lee hung back for a moment, terrified. However, Mai wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

The disgraced princess' eyes widened when she saw them, and she let out a cackle.

“Well, well, well," Azula snarled. "If it isn’t my _best_ friends.”

Ty Lee still looked apprehensive, but Mai just stared at her coldly.

“You look terrible,” she said in her usual monotone. “We heard you’d gone crazy, but we weren’t aware you were this bad off. What a shame you went mad, Azula.”

The princess glared up at them from her restraints.

“That’s what your mother always said when you were younger, wasn’t it?” she said. “ _No one likes a mad woman._ Well, maybe if the two people I trusted the most hadn’t turned on me, I wouldn’t have ended up _mad_. You made me this way, and your mother’s insults won’t work on me. Why are you here?”

“We just got back from the Boiling Rock,” Ty Lee said quietly, trying and failing to hide the fear in her voice.

“Oh, and you wanted to check in on all of your old friends, is that right?" Azula spat. "Have you visited my dear brother yet?”

The princess saw the way Mai’s eyes narrowed, and she smirked. Everyone called her crazy now, but this mad woman could still pinpoint people’s breaking points with ease.

“He was the reason you turned on me, wasn’t it?” she sneered. “What was it you said, something about how you loved him more than you feared me? Tell me, did either of you hear what happened when he and the waterbending bitch faced off against me the day of the comet?”

Judging by her former friends’ silent reactions, they had.

“I suppose you’re here because you heard rumors and you wanted to know if they were true, is that it? Well, let me enlighten you both. He and I did face off for the throne, and somehow he was actually winning by the end of it.”

Azula paused to roll her eyes.

“Unbelievable, I know. But even though I’m _mad_ , I could still see he had one weakness that I could exploit - his little pet, that Water Tribe peasant. So, I decided to make him suffer as much as possible before I lost.”

“The stupid girl should have stayed hidden away with the Fire Sages, but she was just too worried about my brother's safety that she left her shelter to be near him. So I shot lightning at her with everything I had.”

Mai knew she should put a stop to this, but she suddenly couldn’t speak.

"My idiot brother just couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. So he yelled _no_ , then he jumped in front of it and took the full blast to the heart. Then I attacked her, and even though he was on the verge of death, he still used his dying breaths trying to get up and save her. Isn’t that sweet?”

Azula smirked cruelly when she saw how hard her former friend was trying to maintain her composure now. Ty Lee whispered that they should leave _now_ , but Mai ignored her.

“I won’t bore you with the details of how she trapped me, but that’s not why you’re here, is it? You want to know what happened after. Well, the peasant rushed to Zuko’s side and cried as she healed him, begging him not to leave her." 

She licked her lips and imitated the waterbender's cries.

"Please, Zuko, stay with me!" she cried out mockingly. "Please!"

She paused, sneering at Mai once more.

"Truly a touching sight. Finally, she brought him back to life even though it was her fault he almost died, all because she couldn't stay put. And this, Mai, is the part you’re _really_ going to enjoy. I was close enough to hear some of what they said to each other. After he sat up, she said something rather curious. She said she loved him _too_ , which must mean he’d already said it to her before then."

Mai was breathing heavily now in spite of herself, and the princess knew she’d won.

"Isn’t that something? He’d only been on their side for maybe half a year, but he already loved her enough to risk everything for her - his life, his crown, the chance to rule the Fire Nation. Remind me what happened after you helped him escape when you turned on me? He knew you for far longer than that, yet he still left you behind and didn’t even look back.”

Mai just glared at her and tucked her hands into her sleeves, her fingers lightly rubbing against the hilt of the blade hidden there.

“Then he held the peasant’s face and kissed her. I’ve seen the way you two used to act in the past, and I must say, he genuinely seems to love this girl more than he ever cared about you,” Azula sniffed. “Which clearly, he _didn’t_.” 

Ty Lee was tugging on Mai’s arm now, outright begging her to leave, but once again she ignored her as Azula continued.

“It’s pathetic, really. I may be a mad woman, Mai, but you’re no better than the stupid girls you always like to mock, after all. You thought you could keep him by opening your legs, but he just dumped you soon afterwards, didn’t he?”

Azula bared her teeth in a cruel grin.

“I’ve only heard rumors of what happened after my brother and the peasant kissed, but apparently they disappeared into his bedroom shortly after and neither emerged until the next day.”

Mai didn’t even try to hide her fury now, and the princess decided it was time to strike the killing blow.

“If I had to guess, she was probably so grateful to him for saving her life that she probably threw herself into his arms right away, and you _know_ how passionate he is. He probably took her over and over that night and put a baby in her belly while he was at it. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had a bastard niece or nephew growing inside of her right now-”

Azula was cut off as Mai screamed, finally allowing herself to lose control and act like the mad woman she’d always tried so hard not to be.

She pulled sai from her sleeves but before she could throw them, she felt several light jabs and watched them fall harmlessly to the floor.

The chi blocker guard who stopped her caught Mai before she fell and leaned her against the wall, nodding to Ty Lee who stepped forward and glared down at Azula.

“We’re leaving,” she said in the coldest voice either of them had ever heard her use. "Good riddance."

She picked up the blades, tucking them safely away in her pockets.

Ty Lee and the guard helped Mai limp away, and they heard Azula still cackling wildly behind them.

~*~*~

“I don’t think you should be there for the coronation.”

Mai didn’t look at her, instead focusing on the knives as they left her hand and embedded into their target. Ty Lee sighed as she stood beside her friend and rubbed her shoulders.

“I know this is one of the biggest days in our lives, but I think it’s going to hurt you too much to see him again, especially since she’ll be there too,” she continued softly.

Mai scoffed and looked off to the side.

“Azula always lies,” she hissed. “That’s what he used to say. Maybe she was lying earlier-”

But her friend shook her head sadly.

“Except we saw her friends outside of his door,” Ty Lee said gently. “They wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

The waterbender’s friends. _His_ friends now, apparently, and one of them was even going to be his brother-in-law. A Fire Lord with a waterbender wife and Water Tribe in-laws.

It was absurd.

Mai sighed and threw a few sai for good measure. Earlier when she found out about their engagement, she’d been tempted to cry, but now her eyes felt completely dry.

“I can’t just not be there, Ty Lee,” she said resolutely, finally looking at her. “I need to go, even though it’s going to hurt even worse. I’ll hate myself if I don’t.” 

Her friend gave her a big hug, and for once she didn’t mind.

After a while, Ty Lee said she had to leave to get ready for the royal dinner in a few hours. She promised to check in on her afterwards, and Mai nodded.

~*~*~

Later that night, Mai sat alone in her room with all of the lights off.

Her parents had returned from Omashu with Tom-Tom, and once again their family house was full. They also heard the rumors about the Agni Kai, and when they asked her if she’d seen Zuko yet, she shook her head.

She told them she’d seen Azula, though, who’d all but confirmed them.

Mai didn’t mention the engagement, though. They were already offended enough by the idea of their daughter being brushed aside for a peasant, much less one from the Water Tribes.

Their family was also invited to the royal dinner but opted not to go. Instead, they had their own private meal with just her and Tom-Tom.

She managed to eat enough to pass their approval, then excused herself immediately after, alerting them that Ty Lee would be back later that evening to spend the night.

Mai had almost dozed off when she heard her bedroom door open, and she turned to see her friend dressed up in all of her Kyoshi glory, although her face paint had been wiped off. 

“Hi,” Ty Lee whispered. “How are you feeling?”

Mai just shook her head and resumed looking out of the window as her friend changed into her night clothes.

“Did he look happy?” was all she asked.

Ty Lee paused. She could lie, but either way her friend’s feelings were already hurt and they would hurt even more for the foreseeable future. So she decided to be truthful.

“Remember how I said his aura was all dark and angry right before he left?” she asked quietly.

Mai didn’t speak, so she continued.

“It's never been brighter, like he finally conquered all of his inner demons and everything that made him angry, and hers was absolutely radiant, too. It seems like they’re both genuinely happy together. I’m so sorry.”

Mai finally turned to look at her.

“What did they say when you told them?”

“I didn’t tell them that you knew about their engagement. I congratulated them both but just said you were busy spending time with your parents.”

Ty Lee hesitated before she continued.

“I also talked with Suki tonight, and she said their other friends, the ones we saw earlier, were worried about you.”

Mai’s eyes widened slightly.

“Why?”

“Because they’re actually really good people. I know it’s easier for you to hate them all, but they seem like they genuinely care. Even Kat-”

“ _Don’t_ say her name,” she hissed, and Ty Lee winced.

“Sorry. Even she asked about you at one point, while he was standing nearby, and they both seemed concerned about you, too. I think at some point, even if it’s a long time from now, they want to try to be friends with you.”

Mai glared at her, and her friend raised her hands, holding her palms out to placate her.

“That might never happen, obviously, but just letting you know that option is on the table.”

~*~*~

Later, she laid awake in her bed listening to her friend snoring lightly in the darkness nearby.

It was still so surreal – when she’d woken up that morning, she’d expected to reunite with Zuko and maybe even pick up their relationship where they left off before he defected from the Fire Nation.

She’d even been foolishly hopeful enough to think she might wake up beside him the next morning, too.

But those illusions had been shattered forever the moment she and Ty Lee rounded that corner outside of his office. 

Now, she’d have to muster up the strength to face them both at his coronation in a few days, and after that she’d have to learn to live without him.

He seemed to have no trouble moving on; she could only hope she would have the same luck.


	4. Chapter 4

_I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it  
_ _I had hoped you'd see my face_  
_And that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over_

Someone Like You - Adele

* * *

It was the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life, but somehow she got through the coronation and the formal ball afterwards without breaking down in front of them.

The coronation itself wasn’t so bad – she watched proudly from a distance as he was crowned and stood beside the Avatar afterwards to a roaring crowd.

She noticed he kept looking down at the middle of the front row and grinning, and Mai had a sinking suspicion she knew why. 

Her real test was later that night when she saw them interact at the ball. They hadn’t made news of their engagement public yet, so anyone who didn’t already know might not have noticed anything out of the ordinary.

But _she_ noticed.

Mai saw the way his eyes crinkled up whenever he looked over at the woman he’d risked his life and birthright for.

She saw the way Zuko's entire demeanor changed whenever the two of them got close enough to speak to each other, and how overall _happy_ he seemed to be in the other woman's presence.

He looked at the peasant as if she were a goddess, as if he hadn’t just been crowned Fire Lord.

What hurt the most for her to admit to herself was that he looked at her rival with nothing but love in his eyes – and Mai had never seen him look at her that way before.

She’d seen affection and lust, anger and frustration, and sometimes even sadness in his eyes when he looked at her... but never love.

Ever since she met him, she’d dreamed and hoped he might look at her like that one day. Now, he never would.

It would only hurt more the longer she dragged it out, so she finally worked up the courage to speak to the woman who’d won the heart of the man she loved, gaining everything she’d ever hoped to accomplish in the process and leaving her with nothing.

And against all odds, she was civil when she spoke to her rival, even what some might call gracious. 

To her credit, the waterbender seemed distressed when she found out exactly how his ex had learned about their engagement, but Mai cut her off before she could offer some lame apology.

She didn’t need her pity.

~*~*~

Then came the hardest test of all, when she walked across the ballroom and politely bowed before the new Fire Lord, acting as if her heart wasn’t completely shattered.

Zuko appeared to be genuinely happy to see her, but his eyes didn’t have the same warmth when he looked at her now.

Even the spark in his eyes back then now paled in comparison to the way his entire face lit up whenever he saw her rival.

He looked at Mai now as nothing more than an old friend, someone he’d once been close to, but had drifted apart from over the years.

She barely managed to keep it together for a brief conversation with him, where they parted on amicable enough terms.

But she couldn’t stop herself from brushing a loose strand of his hair back and cupping his cheek one last time before she pulled him in for a final hug.

She’d been tempted to give him a final kiss but knew that wouldn’t end well. Had she known back then all those months ago that would be her last one with him, she would have never let him go.

But now she was being forced to. That was all in the past, and as she’d told him plenty times before, some things just needed to stay there.

So she pulled away from him at the end of their hug and ran away, just like she had the evening after his Agni Kai against his father, right before his banishment began.

Maybe if she had stayed with him bit longer that night all those years ago, he would have chosen her. Maybe if she’d done many things differently, he would have proposed to her instead…

But she would never know the what-ifs now, so it did no good dwelling on them.

He looked at her, saw her for exactly who and what she was, and decided he could easily live without her. She was nothing to him now, although he was still everything to her.

It was the lowborn waterbender he couldn’t stand to lose, as he’d made so abundantly clear by taking lightning to the heart and risking everything for in the process.

Only once she was safely out of sight from everyone else did she finally let the tears fall, and Ty Lee found her soon after, pulling her in for a long hug. 

~*~*~

The next morning, she awoke to find they’d wasted no time in sending out a royal proclamation announcing their year-long engagement, and Mai knew she couldn’t stay.

She talked at length with her parents that day, and eventually they decided she could go live with her Aunt Mura for as long as she needed.

Mura owned a flower shop in a nearby town , so Mai would be expected to help out, but otherwise she’d have the freedom to do whatever she wanted. 

A week or so later, she stood outside of the store with her bags in her hands, looking up at the sign before her aunt rushed out to greet her in a big hug.

To her surprise, Mai found she actually enjoyed working in the shop. She'd always liked spending time with her aunt, who was warm and kind and accommodating of whatever mood her niece was in - the complete opposite of her parents, actually.

"I never did like how your parents enforced those strict rules," Mura confessed one night over dinner. "I tried to talk to my sister many times about how hurtful that behavior could be, but she always ignored me."

Mai rolled her eyes.

"At least I got whatever I wanted, right?" she said sarcastically. "Even if I did end up emotionally repressed." 

Her aunt gave her an encouraging smile.

"Well, let this be a new beginning for you," she said. "It's okay to be happy, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to feel however you want to feel. I'll be here for you either way, because I love and accept you for who you are."

Mai looked down at her plate for a moment.

"And what if I'm mad?" she asked softly. "No one likes a mad woman, Aunt Mura."

Now her aunt frowned slightly.

"Did your mother tell you that?" she asked, unsurprised when her niece nodded. "Well, it's true in a sense - society doesn't like it when women make a scene or act unladylike. But you've seen men get angry and yell plenty of times, right? Does anyone ever give them grief for taking a stand and making their opinions known?"

Mai glanced up then, staring at her aunt.

She'd had plenty of experience with both of those, what with Zuko's tantrums and constantly repressing her emotions to fit in, no matter how much she claimed not to care about what others thought.

He and her friends had also tried to get her to open up on multiple occasions to no avail. They just couldn't understand that being emotional was unfamiliar and frightening territory for her.

She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, looking away. Mura sighed.

"I understand that you're not comfortable opening up to many people and you don't like showing your true feelings," her aunt said gently. "But I want you to know that you are safe to do so around me. That being said, I won't push you."

With that, she thankfully changed the subject.

~*~*~

Mai was also surprised to discover the neighbors, while mostly lowborn, were much nicer than the nobles she'd grown up with. They didn't have as much as far as possessions went, but they seemed much happier somehow.

Their gossip was friendly and good-natured whenever she and her aunt were invited over for tea. They seemed genuinely interested whenever Mai did speak, and they always tried to accommodate her.

Mura had informed them beforehand which topics, especially ones that concerned the new Fire Lord or his betrothed, were strictly off limits whenever her niece was present.

Some found out she had a major sweet tooth, and they did their best to have the most delectable treats baked whenever they visited.

A few even offered to set her up on dates with their various sons or nephews, but she always declined. She just wasn't ready for that yet.

~*~*~

One thing she noticed was how relaxed and happy her aunt's friends seemed to be. They worked hard, of course, but they also had fun.

They often visited her aunt's best friend from her childhood and her husband, who were more outspoken and louder than what she was used to being around. 

What fascinated Mai about them was that while they occasionally butted heads with each other, they always made up afterwards. It reminded her in a way of her relationship with Zuko, except this couple seemed much, much happier.

"How often do you think they fight?" she asked her aunt in private after they returned home from yet another visit.

Mura paused, looking at her. She knew her niece's relationship with the prince had been a passionate yet tumultuous one. 

"Well, you'd have to ask them," she finally said. "While my friend and her husband do have disagreements from time to time, they're always respectful of each other's feelings. Arguing is a normal part of being in a relationship, but what's important is _how_ you argue. You present your side, listen to theirs with as much of an open mind as possible, and you work together to reach a solution."

"What about yelling?" Mai asked, looking away and feeling her stomach churning.

Her fights with Zuko rarely if ever went the way her aunt described. There was a lot of finger pointing and occasionally screaming, but in hindsight, they never reached resolutions whenever they argued. They just started making out until they found something else to disagree over.

Maybe that was why things fell apart, she thought sadly. She wondered if Zuko ever argued with the waterbender like he used to with her, but her gut feeling told her they probably didn't.

Her aunt gently patted her shoulder.

"I'm of the belief that you shouldn't yell at someone unless their life is in danger and they need to be warned immediately," she said. "But that's just me. I suppose some couples do yell, but it shouldn't be the norm."

Mai folded her arms and looked at the floor. Her aunt had been married once, but her husband had passed away from an illness when she was an infant, and Mura had never remmaried. 

She knew talking about love in general was probably a delicate subject for her aunt, but she had one more question that she needed to know the answer to.

"Aunt Mura... when you're in a relationship, is it normal to get tired of being around them?"

"Of course!" she said. "That's why it's important to have your own friends and separate hobbies. You should value their happiness and well-being, but not at the sake of your own. It's not healthy to pin all of your happiness on someone else."

She nodded and thanked her aunt for her words of wisdom. Before she left the room, though, Mura had one final piece of advice.

"Relationships take a lot of work sometimes, Mai," she said kindly. "But it should never feel like a chore. If you're constantly fighting with someone and questioning their every action or feeling... maybe it's a sign you're not a good fit together. In that case, you should find someone who _does_ fit your personality instead."

~*~*~

A few months after she settled in with her aunt, though, Mai got restless and decided to seek physical comfort.

She snuck out late one night and found a handsome stranger at one of the bars, one with dark hair and eyes almost as golden as Zuko's had been.

 _He’ll do_ , she thought to herself. She managed to sweet-talk him until they left together, and he paid for a room at an inn nearby.

Once they were locked inside, he wasted no time undressing and she immediately followed suit, and she found herself being pulled down onto the bed with him.

He kissed her, and there was no love in his touch as his hands ghosted over her body, but she did feel somewhat better. 

“By the way, my name is-” he began, but she cut him off.

“I don’t need to know your name,” she said, gasping as his hand snaked down her stomach. “I just want a good time to forget someone.”

He nodded, and soon she was moaning under his touch. _So far, so good_. She could do this.

Then she almost lost her nerve when he moved into position, but she just nodded her head.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that she knew she’d made a huge mistake. He may have slightly resembled Zuko as far as appearances went, but this stranger most definitely was _not_ him.

Of course it wouldn’t be the same, she realized far too late. There was no hint of affection in his golden eyes. His hands weren’t rough as they gripped her skin, but they weren’t gentle, either.

This stranger didn’t love her, but then again neither had Zuko, apparently.

So really, what did it matter if he used her and left her the next morning like she wasn’t important? That’s what _he_ had done.

At least she knew not to expect anything more from this one or get her hopes up. Maybe she could still pretend it was him if she shut her eyes, though...

But her current lover’s thrusts were fast, not hesitant like Zuko’s had been at first until he’d finally built up confidence.

This one didn’t nip at her neck, but then again his teeth probably wouldn’t have been as gentle as his. Zuko been careful not to hurt her, but this stranger probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

This partner probably wouldn’t even care if she was satisfied when it was all over, she thought bitterly, unlike _him_.

She kept her eyes closed and forced herself not to cry. It was so obvious now in hindsight, she thought as she managed not to wince at another thrust.

He stopped a few minutes later, and her eyes flew open.

“Are you okay?” he asked, almost sounding concerned. “You don’t look like you’re enjoying this.”

Her walls were cracking, but she refused to break down in front of anyone, much less a complete stranger.

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

He looked skeptical.

“No, you’re not. I’m not doing this if you’re uncomfortable. I’m not that kind of guy.”

She closed her eyes again to stop the tears from escaping and she took a deep breath.

“I’m just thinking about _him_ ,” she whispered in spite of herself.

There was a long silence, and neither moved. At last her eyes fluttered open, and when she saw his expression she quickly forgot all about crying.

“I don’t want your pity,” she hissed. “I didn’t ask for you to feel sorry for me.”

He shook his head.

“Look, I don’t even know your name, much less anything about your history with this guy, but I don’t think you should be doing this right now,” he said gently. “I’m sorry that the night has turned out this way, but I can’t... I’m leaving.”

With that he pulled away, leaving her hollow and humiliated.

 _I'm sorry you that you have to find out this way, but I'm leaving_ , she heard in her head once more.

She sat up and wrapped a blanket up around her body, glaring at him.

“That’s it?” she snapped. “You can’t even see this through?”

He just stared at her in silence as he gathered up his clothes.

“This guy really broke your heart, didn’t he,” was all he said once he was dressed again.

“No, I just want you to take me so hard I forget all about him,” she hissed. “But apparently you can’t even do that. You’re pathetic.”

He didn’t say anything, instead shaking his head. As he reached for the door handle, he paused.

“The room’s paid for all night, so feel free to stay until morning,” he said, turning his head back around. “I’m going to see if they’ve got anything else available. Good night.”

Before he closed the door behind him, he paused once more.

“I hope you find happiness one day,” he said, and then he was gone from her life forever - just like Zuko.

Once she heard the locks click, Mai threw a glass of water at the closed door, not caring that it shattered upon impact and made a mess all over the floor.

She wanted to scream, but no one liked a mad woman, she thought instinctively.

Instead, she stood up, if a bit unsteadily, and scrubbed away all traces of him until her skin felt raw. She dressed again, making sure she had all of her belongings before she left.

The man stationed at the front of the inn was half-asleep but startled awake when he saw her walk by.

“Miss, it’s the middle of the night!” he called, but she brushed right past him, not looking back. “Let me find you an escort.”

“I don’t need any protection,” she mumbled.

_Believe me, she doesn't._

With the mood she was in, she almost dared any lowlife to try anything as she walked back to her aunt’s house alone in the dark.

Mai kept a tight grip on her blades, hoping someone would give her a reason to fight, but she made it back without encountering anyone.

She crept inside, and once she’d climbed back into her bed, she pulled a pillow to her face to absorb the hot tears streaming from her eyes.

~*~*~

After that, she vowed never to open herself up again until she’d completely moved on.

Slowly, Mai started to heal. She kept herself busy helping out at her aunt’s shop and even struck up an acquaintance of sorts with a few of the locals.

She continued having dinner with their neighbors and spent her free time talking with them, though they were still hardly what she’d call friends.

If Zuko could move on so easily, then she should too. She would spend no more time thinking about him than he had on her.

She just wished she had Ty Lee to confide in, but she’d moved on as well and was busy with the Kyoshi Warriors, under the leadership of _her_ brother’s fiancée.

Mai wrote to her friend every now and then, keeping her letters short and simple, without mentioning any of the heartache she still carried. The last thing she needed was for it to get back to Zuko that she hadn’t moved on yet.

Ty Lee always wrote back, including funny stories about her new life, but she never mentioned either of their names, although Mai knew she interacted with them from time to time.

She wasn’t sure when it started, but after a couple of months Mai somehow managed to forget about him, just for a little bit each day.

It wasn’t much, but at least she was making progress.

~*~*~

Then one winter morning it all came crashing down, several months after she’d left the capital.

She woke up early like she normally did, got dressed, and headed down to her aunt’s shop to help her open up. Everything was quiet and uneventful, like it always was in this town.

It was actually a pleasant day, she thought to herself as she stepped outside at one point for fresh air. Not that she really cared about the weather or scenery in general, but the sunlight felt nice as its faint warmth beamed down upon her.

She greeted customers like she always did, not exactly friendly but not as curt as she’d been in the past, either.

It was strange, she thought, but she almost found herself smiling once or twice. Her heart almost felt light, which hadn’t been the case ever since she found out he’d gotten engaged to the Water Tribe peasant.

 _Who cares about them_ , she thought as she organized a row of empty vases on one of the shelves. It’s not as if their relationship was going to last, anyways.

The royal court would never accept the peasant's lowborn status and would find some way to break them up.

Maybe Zuko would even realize how stupid he’d been and come back to her, begging for forgiveness on his knees. She might actually take him back, too.

But her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a group of gossiping noblewomen, who quickly struck up a conversation with her aunt after they purchased a few bouquets of fire lilies. 

“Did you hear the news?” one asked, and Mura shook her head. “The big news about Fire Lord Zuko?”

Her aunt’s eyes widened and she quickly glanced over at Mai, who’d immediately steeled her facial expression to be neutral. Mura had been as patient and comforting as her niece would allow her to be, but she still wanted to protect her in case this news turned out to be bad.

Which unfortunately, it did.

“What about the Fire Lord?” Mura whispered, hoping the other women would take a hint and keep their voices down.

They didn’t pick up on it, however, and Mai heard their next words ring out clearly.

“Well, you know how he got engaged to that waterbender from the South Pole and visited her home last month?” one of the women asked. “Even though they’ve got the big wedding ceremony coming up in less than a year, apparently that wasn’t soon enough for either of them.”

Time seemed to stop, and Mai was aware of her heart hammering against her ribs. Before her aunt could ask, another woman confirmed the worst.

“They got married while they were at the Southern Water Tribe if you can believe it. Imagine, a Fire Lord having a wedding in the _snow_ of all places! Granted, it’s not recognized here, or so my husband says, so she’s still not technically Fire Lady yet, but to the rest of the world she’s legally his wife.”

Mai suddenly felt dizzy and reached out to grab the shelf to steady herself, accidentally knocking over a vase in the process. She swallowed to keep herself from getting sick.

The women stopped their conversation with her aunt at the sound of the crash and stared at her in mild disdain.

“Mai, you should go sit down,” her aunt fretted as she rushed to her side, guiding her towards the office in the back of the store. She nodded dumbly and allowed herself to be led away.

She was almost to safety when she heard a gasp of shock behind her.

“I’m sorry, what was your name again?” one of the women asked. “Did you say Mai?”

She nodded again, not turning around, and then they all gasped again as they figured it out. How utterly _scandalous_.

“As in, the girl who used to be involved with him before he was crowned Fire Lord?”

Mai froze, even though her aunt kept trying to pull her away from their prying eyes. She forced her facial expression into a neutral one again and turned to face them.

They looked down at her from their noses, wearing thinly veiled expressions of contempt.

“That’s right,” was all she said, crossing her arms.

The women looked at each other and a few scoffed.

"I _thought_ you looked familiar," one said.

“So, you’re the one he dumped for that foreigner,” another said with a sniff, looking her up and down. “Wonder why he didn’t choose you instead?”

Mai was tempted to stab her stupid neck with shards of the broken vase, shutting her up permanently. Instead she shook slightly, clenching her fists and trying to control her rage.

Her aunt glared at the women and sternly asked them to leave. They turned their noses up and did as she ordered, but they still continued talking loudly on the way out.

“Imagine, how stupid could one be to let a prince slip through their fingers? Even if one side of his face is absolutely horrific.”

“At least his new wife is pretty, even if she isn’t one of us. That girl back there is so dour-looking.”

“She must have been truly unpleasant for him to choose a Water Tribe peasant over a good Fire Nation girl.”

“Maybe she wasn’t willing to do certain things and the other girl _was_.”

They laughed and turned to sneer at her one last time before they closed the door behind them.

Somehow, even then Mai managed to keep her temper under control. If nothing else, she was still good at reining in her emotions, even though she’d slipped up a little just now.

She and Zuko had even fought over it at one point, back at that beach party. He was always so temperamental and hotheaded, while she was just “a big blah,” according to him.

 _At least I feel something,_ she heard him yell in her memories. _You have no passion for anything!_

All of her life she’d been the quiet, proper daughter all other nobles wished they could have, until he came along and ruined everything.

In the back of her mind she heard her mother’s voice from the past warning her that no one liked when women acted emotional, but then she heard her aunt's reassurance in the present that it was okay to break down sometimes.

Suddenly, she didn’t care what anyone else thought anymore. She closed her eyes and covered her face as she fell to her knees, sobbing in spite of her best efforts to maintain her composure.

Mura immediately locked the shop doors, switching the sign to “Closed” and wrapped her arms around her niece, rocking her back and forth as they both sat huddled together on the floor for a long time.

Imagine if Zuko could see her now, Mai thought bitterly. She actually was passionate about something, and it was the one thing she couldn’t have.

Just when she finally felt hopeful about the future, it was like that bastard sensed her happiness and had to destroy it.

The big blah actually had a heart after all, and it was absolutely shattered.


	5. Chapter 5

_And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back_  
_So shake him off_  
_Because I am done with my graceless heart_  
_So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart_

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine

* * *

The next day, her aunt announced they would be taking a trip to the Earth Kingdom over the next several months.

Mai poked at the food on her plate, unable to swallow a bite. She’d finally fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning, not that it did much good, and she was utterly exhausted.

“Why?” she asked, slipping back into her usual monotone.

Mura frowned slightly. In light of yesterday’s news, along with the upcoming royal wedding in the next year, she thought her niece needed to get out of the Fire Nation for a while. But she knew better than to say so out loud.

“Because I could use a break from the flower shop,” was all she said. “Haven’t you always wanted to visit one of the cities?”

Mai rolled her eyes.

“I’ve already been, remember? I used to live in Omashu and I helped Azula take down Ba Sing Se. Once you’ve been inside the Earth King’s palace the rest isn’t that impressive.”

She paused, picking up her knife and twirling it around her fingers before stabbing the table with it.

“That’s also where I saw _him_ for the first time after his banishment started.”

Oh, right. Mura ducked her head. She also chose not to mention the knife currently embedded in her antique table.

“What about visiting your friend Ty Lee on Kyoshi Island?”

Mai considered it but shot that idea down as well, shaking her head. It would be just her luck if _they_ happened to visit for some reason.

“What if you write to Ty Lee to see if she’s able to travel with us, instead?”

She didn’t share her aunt’s optimism but she sent off a letter later that day, asking if she’d be available to join them for part of their journey. 

To her surprise, she received a letter back a few weeks later from Ty Lee, saying she’d love to meet up with them.

~*~*~

They visited several Earth Kingdom cities over the next few months, but Mai never bothered to learn the names of the places where they stayed. It all became a big blur to her after a while, although she did feel better once they eventually met up with Ty Lee.

One night, Ty Lee dragged her off to a tavern to get drinks and hopefully meet some cute boys. They opted not to mention they were originally from the Fire Nation, and they decided on aliases ahead of time, too.

In reality, Mai knew why she was being forced into going. The royal wedding was less than a month away, and her friend was trying to keep her mind off of it.

She headed straight for the bar, eventually finding an open spot. Once she paid for their drinks, she found Ty Lee sitting at a table nearby, chatting with a man about their age.

 _That was quick_ , Mai thought. Then again, he was kind of cute, even if he wasn't necessarily her type.

Despite being raised to believe that anyone not of noble birth was below her, she finally started to realize they weren't so bad, after all. It also helped whenever they were tall and had roguishly good looks, like this one.

He stood up as she approached, pulling out a chair for her, and the three of them sat back down. She couldn’t quite make out his name due to the loudness around them when he introduced himself, but it’s not like she really cared anyways.

To his credit, he made a point of talking to both of them, making sure neither was excluded during the conversation. He seemed impressed too when Ty Lee mentioned her friend was good with blades.

“Is that so?” he drawled, leaning forward in his chair. “You know, I’m actually pretty lethal with swords myself. They won’t let me bring my weapons in here for obvious reasons, but maybe later you can show me how good you are.”

Mai felt the faintest trace of a smile on her face. At least he wasn’t intimidated like many of the other boys she’d tried (and failed) to flirt with recently at Ty Lee’s insistence. 

“Maybe,” she said, attempting to sound coy. “I’m curious to see how good you are, too.”

He grinned, and his dark eyes shone in the lantern’s glow.

“I’m so good I don’t just have one sword,” he bragged to both of them. “I actually use two.”

 _Just like Zuko._ She sat back and caught her breath, and they noticed her change in demeanor immediately. He cringed as her friend wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Sorry, did I say something wrong?” he asked.

Mai shook her head as Ty Lee answered for her. Thankfully, she kept it short and sweet.

“Her ex also fought with two swords. They had a bad breakup recently.”

 _Recently_ , as if it hadn’t been over a year by now. Mai rolled her eyes but didn’t want to correct her. The details didn’t matter, anyways. 

He raised an eyebrow as he wondered… nah, that was too unlikely of a coincidence.

“Well, he must be an idiot,” he said with a smirk. “It’s not every day you meet a girl who’s good with blades.”

She allowed herself a small smile.

“Thanks.”

They sat in silence for a minute before Mai finished her drink and offered to pick up the next round. Their companion offered to go with her, but she declined. He sat back in his seat after she left and turned to Ty Lee.

“So how recent of a breakup are we talking?” he asked.

She grinned slightly.

“Why? Are you interested in my friend?”

“Maybe. Just trying to gauge her interest.”

She’d promised Mai beforehand that she wouldn’t spill any revealing secrets, but she thought she could find a loophole in this, somehow.

“It was about a year ago, but he was her first love,” she explained, keeping an eye on Mai at the bar. “He’s actually not a bad guy, but I guess he fell out of love with her. Then he met this other girl right after they broke up, and they’re married already. My friend is just having a hard time adjusting.”

He frowned and looked back over at Mai. _That explained some things_ , he thought.

“Yeah, that would be hard on anyone,” he agreed.

Since her ex was already married, that ruled out the coincidence he’d wondered about earlier, too. Mai rejoined them with another round, and they drank in silence for a minute before he spoke.

“A girl I used to date is getting married soon,” he said after a large gulp. “It’s been a few years since I saw her last, but I always thought she was the one who got away. She was the most amazing person, and I was too busy being an idiot to appreciate her until it was too late.”

He considered adding that she probably didn’t even know if he was alive anymore after their horrific last encounter but decided not to. There was too much personal history to divulge, and his current companions didn’t need to know all of the details.

Ty Lee made a sound of sympathy and patted his shoulder, but Mai frowned her friend.

“She told you, didn’t she.”

“Not any incriminating details,” he replied. “But for what it’s worth, your ex sounds like a real jerk.”

He hesitated before reaching over to pat Mai's hand.

“Just wanted to let you know that not all of us are that bad, before you’ve decided you’re done with men altogether.”

She looked entirely unamused. “Are you flirting with me?”

He shook his head and smirked.

“Normally I would, but like I mentioned, I’m not in the best place to start dating anyone right now, with my ex and all. What makes it worse is that I can’t _stand_ the guy she’s marrying. He could probably give your ex a run for his money for being terrible.”

Mai’s lip twitched slightly and she raised her cup.

“Here’s to terrible exes,” she said dryly, and they clinked their glasses together in a toast. 

They talked for a while longer until Mai decided she’d had enough. Ty Lee was at her limit too, and he led them through the crowd to the door.

“Need me to walk you back to the inn?” he offered. “I’m meeting some friends later, but I promise you’ll be safe with me if you want an escort.”

They declined and he nodded, wishing them a good night. He spoke with the man situated outside guarding the various weapons, and just like he’d said earlier, walked away into the night with twin blades on his back.

Mai was a little disappointed this was probably the last time they’d ever see each other. She’d never seen someone fight with hook swords before.

~*~*~

Ty Lee left a couple of weeks later to attend and provide security for the royal wedding, while Mai and her aunt continued traveling until all of the celebrations were long over.

She sighed as she once more found herself working in the flower shop, but now she seemed a little more at peace.

Mai settled back into her old routines, keeping herself busy and distracted.

She discovered a local dojo, and after they saw her expertise throwing blades, they immediately invited her to teach a class part-time.

Mai also tried her hand at baking (which she hated) and painting (which she enjoyed immensely.) Soon, dozens of her projects hung throughout Mura's house, much to her aunt's pride.

She still cried at night every now and then, but it happened far less often than before. Eventually, she stopped crying over him altogether.

At long last, her heart started to heal for good this time.

~*~*~

Two years after the wedding, she overheard life-changing news once more from gossiping neighbors. 

Unlike the noblewomen from her aunt's shop, though, they were much kinder and immediately offered to change the subject when they realized who she was. 

But this time, Mai's world didn't shatter. If anything, she almost felt happy when she heard what they said.

The next day, she decided to do something truly reckless and completely unlike herself.

Mai frowned slightly as she worked on her project. She still didn’t know why she was doing this – there was no logical reason, and it served no purpose.

But for some reason it felt right, and perhaps this would help her finally let go for good.

She gathered the nicest collection of flowers she could find from her aunt's stock, then dried and pressed them until they were completely flattened.

It was almost therapeutic as she stirred together the resin and poured it over the flowers carefully placed inside the mold, adding a few golden flakes for additional decoration.

Once it completely dried, she carefully removed it and admired her work. She personally didn’t care for such things, but perhaps they would enjoy it.

She then pulled out a piece of parchment and hesitated for a long time before she figured out what she wanted to say.

~*~*~

A couple of weeks later, Fire Lord Zuko and his wife were surprised and touched when they unwrapped Mai's gift for their month-old daughter.

It was a clear plaque that held dozens of perfectly preserved fire and panda lilies, orchids, lotuses, and every other type of flower Mura carried in her shop.

Along with the present was a short, simple note for the princess' parents.

_Congratulations on the birth of your new daughter. I’m happy for you both. Sincerely, Mai._

~*~*~

That fall, her life would again change forever, and the day started off no differently from the one before.

Leaves on the trees outside had turned golden as the Fire Nation’s hot summer weather cooled down, as the world prepared to welcome the upcoming winter months.

On this particular morning, sales were slow and Mai stepped out for a bit to get a cup of tea at one of the cafes nearby. While she sat at her table, she observed countless people walk in but paid no attention to any of them.

Except for one cute guy who looked to be about her age, with chestnut brown hair and matching brown eyes. He saw her at about the same time she noticed him, and after a moment he smiled.

Once he paid for his cup of tea, he carefully made his way over to her.

“Hi, mind if I join you?” he asked. 

She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. His voice was nice, but he was incredibly bold making assumptions like that.

What if she was here waiting for someone? She asked him as much, and he ducked his head.

“Oh… sorry,” he mumbled, looking embarrassed. “Didn’t mean to bother you, miss. I’ll leave you alone-”

“Well, I never said I was waiting for someone, did I?” she interjected, suddenly feeling bad for some reason.

Mai gestured for him to pull up a chair, which he did with a grateful smile. Unfortunately in doing so, he accidentally bumped the table, and her cup knocked over, splashing tea all over her.

Fortunately it had cooled down enough so it didn’t burn, but that didn't change the fact that her clothes were currently swimming in oolong.

All of the blood drained from his face, and he tried to stammer out an apology. She just snapped at him and gathered up her things in a huff, storming off out of the café.

Of course the one time she tried to open up to a new possibility, she ended up soaking wet and humiliated in public.

 _Just like in the fountain with Zuko_ , she thought almost absentmindedly before she realized it.

Odd. It was the first instance she’d thought of him in a long time, and what was even more remarkable was that she didn’t feel sad anymore at the memory.

Then again, it was hard to be sad when the stupid fool from the cafe was following after her, apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry, please can I make it up to you? Let me buy you another cup of tea.”

She shook her head.

“I’ve got to go back to work,” she said. “My aunt’s probably wondering what’s been keeping me so long.”

“Oh, you work with your aunt? Where at?”

 _Agni_ , this guy may have been cute but she was quickly losing patience with him. She told him the name of her aunt’s flower shop as she hurried along.

“Oh, I know that place,” he said with a smile. “They always have the prettiest bouquets but what I really like are the clear floral plaques.”

She smiled in spite of herself.

“I make those,” she said proudly, then they paused once they reached the shop. “Seriously, don’t worry about the dress. I’ll wash it and it’ll be good as new.”

With that, she left him behind and went inside, and immediately Mura pounced.

“Who was that?” she asked her niece, watching as he walked away. “He was _cute_ , Mai. Did you meet him at the tea shop?”

Mai just waved her hand to brush off her questions as she left to change into a clean dress.

She completely forgot to ask his name, but it was probably for the best. She’d probably never see him again, anyway.

~*~*~

To her surprise, she did see him again later that very day.

Mura’s eyes widened and she grinned when he walked through the door, immediately directing him towards her niece.

“So, I never did find out your name earlier,” he said smiling and leaning against the counter.

He has a nice smile, Mai thought to herself. Not too goofy, and it even seemed sincere. Still, it never hurt to keep her guard up.

“That’s because you were too busy knocking my tea all over me,” she replied coolly, although she was tempted to smile.

He blushed and glanced down at the floor for a moment.

“I meant what I said earlier, let me make it up to you.”

“That’s not necessary,” she assured him, waving her hand.

He smiled at her again, and thankfully he changed the subject.

“Well then, maybe you can help me out,” he said, gesturing to the bouquets behind her. “I want to buy some flowers for a pretty girl, but I don’t know what to get. Which ones would you recommend?”

At least this was slightly more familiar territory, she thought.

She pointed out her personal favorite bouquet, one that she’d put together herself that morning. It was made up of various lilies and orchids, and she was especially proud of it.

“That’s beautiful,” he said softly, sliding over the money to pay for it.

Then to her surprise, as soon as she handed it to him, he gave her another brilliant smile and gave the bouquet right back to her.

“Well, I told you they were for a pretty girl,” he said, blushing a little as her eyes widened. “Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

“You bought me a bouquet that I made myself and gave it right back to me?” she asked, composing herself and raising an eyebrow.

She ignored her aunt’s frantic hand gestures from behind her would-be suitor, letting her know that was _not_ the right answer, but he just laughed.

For some reason, he didn’t seem to be put off or annoyed by her sarcasm. If anything, it seemed to amuse him.

“Yeah, probably not my best idea,” he said, leaning against the counter. “But I’ve got a better one regarding dinner tonight, if you’d like to go. Are you interested?”

It wasn’t logical, but she suddenly found herself nodding, extending her hand to shake his. Why not?

“What’s your name?” she asked, smiling in spite of herself.

“It’s Kei Lo. You?”

“Mai.”

He repeated it with a smile on his face. “That’s a pretty name,” he said softly.

“If you tell me it’s as pretty as the flowers I’m not going,” she threatened, and he just chuckled.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he assured her.

They set up the time he’d come back to pick her up, and all too soon he was gone, grinning at her as he left. 

Mai ignored her aunt’s overjoyed reaction, instead focusing on the bouquet he’d given her.

This wasn’t like her at all – she wasn’t one to step outside of her comfort zone, but for some reason she almost kind of liked it.

Maybe she was going mad, after all, but the thought didn’t bother her so much anymore. It even felt kind of nice, and she hadn’t felt this lighthearted in some time.

Perhaps it wasn’t just emotional and angry and crazy women who were mad, she mused as the rest of the day seemed to drag on.

Maybe it was also the silly girls like herself who fell for cute boys who accidentally spilled tea on them and bought them flowers.

~*~*~

Kei Lo turned out to be a perfect gentleman during dinner, listening intently when she talked and taking mental notes of what she liked and disliked.

Shells and other pretty yet useless trinkets? Not so much. Painting supplies? Sure. Blades or other weapons? Absolutely.

In hindsight, she’d realized she could have been a lot nicer back on the beach when she’d rejected Zuko’s present, hence why she wanted to be upfront about the kind of girl she was.

It turned out he was an orphan and had bounced around all of his life, eventually settling in their town a month or so earlier.

He was fascinated when he found out she originally came from nobility.

“Well, now I feel even worse spilling tea all over you,” he said, his face turning red.

But she waved her hand.

“Seriously, don’t worry about it. Nobility isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s so boring that people start gossip just to have something to do.”

She paused and came to a realization as she spoke the next words aloud.

“I always hated it,” she confessed, twirling her noodles around with her chopsticks. “I was always bored and never felt like I could be myself or come out of my shell. I was always worried that people would think I was a mad woman if I showed any emotions. Very few people actually _got_ me, much less accepted me for who I was.”

He tilted his head and gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Well, from the time I’ve known you, I think you’re pretty amazing,” he said, reaching out and giving her hand a gentle pat where it rested on the table.

She scoffed.

“I bet you say that to all the girls you date,” she retorted, but he just laughed.

“Actually, I really haven’t dated anyone,” he admitted. “Kinda hard to have a relationship with anyone when you’re too busy trying to survive.”

Mai frowned at him. She’d never gone hungry or wanted for anything, except for her parents' acceptance.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I can’t imagine what kind of life that must be like.”

He just gave her a lopsided grin.

“It got rough at times, and there were definitely some parts I’d rather forget, but I’ve met some fascinating people and had some truly unforgettable experiences along the way. The road was hell sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade the good times for anything.”

Fascinating, she thought to herself while taking another bite of noodles.

“If nothing else, though, I’ve learned that some problems end up working themselves out in ways you never expected,” he added. “Sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together."

“That’s an interesting way to look at life,” she admitted. “I’ve never really thought of it like that.”

~*~*~

A few minutes later he asked the question she’d been dreading ever since the date began.

“So what about you? Have you dated many people before?”

She took a big gulp of sake before she answered.

“Just one guy, actually.”

He noticed she looked uncomfortable and immediately tried to change the subject, but she shook her head. Might as well get it over with and out in the open, she said.

“So just one guy,” he mused. “I take it things didn’t end well, did they?”

“Definitely not. He actually started dating this other girl not long after we broke up and got married less than a year later.”

Kei Lo winced at this.

“Ouch. Sounds like a real jerk.”

A year ago, she would have agreed with him, but now she found herself shaking her head.

“He had his demons, sure, but in hindsight I guess I wasn’t that much better. We fought all the time, and it became so draining to both of us. He was a very emotional person and I’m just _not_. We were sort of childhood sweethearts, but something happened that prevented us from dating until we were both older. By that point, we’d both become different people trying to hold on to the past. It was just a matter of time before we split up, I guess.”

He nodded and gave her hand another pat, this time resting his on top of hers after.

“Sounds like you’ve come to terms with it, then,” he said kindly. “It’s not easy looking back and acknowledging your past mistakes, and it takes a lot of maturity and guts to do so, Mai.”

Kei Lo carefully removed his hand, and she suddenly wished he’d left it there.

“From what I hear, he’s gotten his act together too,” she added. “I realized that the last time I saw him, right after he proposed to that other girl, that he really cared about her. It’s taken me a long time, but I’m finally happy for them… well, as happy as one can be for their ex, that is.”

He nodded.

“So I take it this guy was a noble, too?” he asked, looking intrigued. “Any chance I might have heard of him? I don’t really keep up with politics but I do know of the major players.”

She leaned in so she wouldn’t have to say the next words very loudly, and he leaned in as well.

“You know the Fire Lord?” she said softly.

He nodded once more, before it slowly dawned on him.

Kei Lo dropped his chopsticks into his noodles, splattering the sauce as his jaw dropped and his eyes grew as round as the bowl. 

“Wait, really? You’re not joking?”

“I don’t make jokes, Kei Lo.”

He sat back in his seat, stunned and continued gawking for another minute before he composed himself.

“You’re serious,” he said in a low voice. “Wow. You and Fire Lord Zuko?!”

“Yup.”

“Wow,” he said again. "I just... wow. Imagine that... what a small world."

He suddenly looked extremely self-conscious of his appearance, tugging at his collar and smoothing down the front of his tunic.

She rolled her eyes and this time, she reached out and held his hand from across the table.

“Trust me, it’s not that big a deal,” she assured him. “I’m not impressed by crowns or fancy clothes or how well-off someone is.”

Not anymore, at least.

Kei Lo just shook his head, grinning at her in amazement.


	6. Chapter 6

_Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart_  
_Now I send their babies presents_  
_Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park_  
_Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven_

Invisible String - Taylor Swift

* * *

By the end of their first date, she realized she’d had so much fun that she asked him unprompted if he’d like to do it again sometime.

Proper ladies didn’t instigate dates, but then again, who cared what anyone else thought? He was cute and actually made her smile, and at a few points she even _laughed_.

Best of all, she felt like she could be herself around him without having to put together any broken pieces.

They went on a few more before he finally asked if he could kiss her, and to the surprise of them both, she was the one who leaned in first.

If only her parents could see her now, she thought as he cautiously wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for another kiss.

They would think her daughter had gone absolutely mad, but now it was easier to block out what her parents used to say.

Instead, Mai found herself giggling as she kissed him again.

~*~*~

A month after they officially started dating, her aunt was called away out of town to help with a friend’s wedding, leaving Mai by herself at their house.

However, she dropped several not-so-subtle hints that Kei Lo was more than welcome to come over in her absence and even spend the night.

At that Mai’s cheeks flushed, and she scoffed at her aunt’s suggestion – but only because she’d had similar ideas.

Kei Lo happily helped her out in the flower shop, and as neither of them were good at cooking, he treated her to dinner every night at her favorite restaurants.

Later, they would cuddle up on the couch and talk for hours. They also kissed, but he never forced her into anything.

“I just like spending time with you,” he whispered as he held her in his arms. “I’ve never really had a girlfriend before, so this is all new to me.”

She glanced up at him and smiled lightly.

“So have you ever been with anyone?” she asked, surprised when he nodded.

“Yeah… a few times, but those were strictly for pleasure, no attachments whatsoever,” he explained, looking a little sheepish.

To his surprise, she shrugged.

“I tried that once,” she said nonchalantly. “But I still wasn’t over my ex, so it didn’t go so well. To his credit, though, the guy I was with realized it and put a stop to it.”

He winced.

“Still though, I can’t imagine that was a fun experience.”

“One of the lowest points of my life, actually,” she said quietly. “But I learned from it, and I’m stronger now.”

She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and snuggled up closer to him, eventually dozing off.

~*~*~

A couple of nights later, she finally felt ready. They took it slow, exploring each other and learning what they liked and disliked.

She'd enjoyed the faster, more desperate times with Zuko, but this new, gentler experience was nice, too - maybe even better, somehow.

After, she curled up against him and felt perfectly content wrapped up in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and rested his chin against her hair.

She glanced up at him, suddenly feeling nervous. Was she supposed to say she loved him, now? Sure, she liked Kei Lo, but she wasn’t sure if she was in _love_ yet.

As if he sensed her thoughts, his eyes met hers.

“Mai…” he said quietly. “I really like you, a lot. I’m so glad I met you.”

She inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as she snuggled up closer and gave him a gentle squeeze.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad you spilled tea all over me,” she replied.

He cracked up, pulling her in for another kiss, and she found herself grinning as well before she dozed off.

At one point she woke up in the night, expecting him to be wide awake and staring at the ceiling, perhaps reconsidering their entire relationship.

Instead, he was sound asleep, and his arms were still wrapped around her. That was unexpected. 

What was even more unexpected, though, was how peaceful she suddenly felt. Her eyes fluttered, and soon she was sound asleep again.

~*~*~

The next morning she rolled over and realized his side of the bed was empty. She sat up, pulling the covers around her chest, and got a sinking feeling in her gut.

Then she heard the kettle whistling from the kitchen and rummaging around in the cupboards, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

There was a clattering of what she assumed were cups accidentally knocked to the floor and a soft string of curses of Kei Lo.

Mai giggled and slipped her robe on. It still felt odd to giggle, but he somehow brought that out in her.

He looked up with a blush on his cheeks when he saw her standing in the doorway.

“Sorry, did that wake you?” he asked, relieved when she shook her head.

Mai wasn’t entirely sure what to do next – the morning after she first slept with Zuko, he’d been sullen and unreceptive, and every time after that he’d been even more so.

She was a little surprised when Kei Lo walked over and kissed her gently.

“Good morning,” he said, pulling her in for a hug. “How’d you sleep?”

She suddenly felt shy as she answered that she’d slept wonderfully.

They drank their tea in a comfortable silence on the couch in the brilliant beams of the morning sunshine, occasionally smiling at each other.

This was unfamiliar territory for Mai, but she wasn’t afraid anymore. If anything, she’d never felt safer.

~*~*~

A few months later, Kei Lo accompanied her back to the capital to meet her parents.

She'd warned them ahead of time that she wasn't going to tolerate any snobbery from them regarding his less-than-noble upbringing. He genuinely cared about her and made her happy. That should be more than enough for them.

They looked him up and down at first, but then they smiled politely and welcomed him into their home.

He especially got on well with her little brother, who was six now and had sprouted up in the last few years. By the end of her first day back, Tom-Tom was treating Kei Lo like the older brother he never had.

Kei Lo also got to meet Ty Lee as well, who all but bowled them both over in a group hug and shrieked until they nearly went deaf.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you!" she exclaimed for the umpteenth time as the three of them sat outside later that night. "Mai's told me all about you, and I think she's really smitten."

"Ty Lee!" she hissed, mortified.

But Kei Lo just wrapped his arm around Mai's shoulders and gave her a kiss on the cheek, chuckling.

They talked for hours long into the night, until eventually they sat in comfortable silence, looking up at the stars overhead.

"Soooo..." Ty Lee said after a comfortable pause. "I've got something else to tell you, but I don't want you to get mad, Mai."

She raised her eyebrows and looked over at Kei Lo.

"What is it?"

Her friend hesitated before she spoke again.

"I told Zuko that you two were visiting, and he invited you both to dinner sometime later this week when the rest of the gang arrives."

"You did what?" she gaped.

Ty Lee shrugged and addressed Kei Lo directly.

"You knew her ex-boyfriend is the Fire Lord, right?"

"Of course," he said calmly, giving Mai a wink. "Sure it's a lot of pressure on me, but I can handle it. Besides, he must have been crazy to let an amazing girl like her go."

Mai glanced down and smiled a bit sadly before looking up again.

"No..." she said softly. "It just wasn't meant to be. Which is great news for you, because I do really like you, like she said."

At that, he grinned and kissed her cheek.

~*~*~

A few nights later, Mai realized she must truly be a mad woman after all as she and Kei Lo stood before the palace doors.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this," she mumbled.

"I can't believe you actually used to spend the night here," he said softly at the same time.

He extended his arm like a proper Fire Nation gentleman, and she took it, giving it a light squeeze.

"Let's go, babe," he said with a wink.

And so they went.

~*~*~

She thought Kei Lo's eyes were going to pop out of his head as he took in the sheer magnitude and splendor of the palace while a servant led them through hallways she remembered all too well. 

"Trust me, it used to be a lot scarier," she assured him. "Looks like they've done a lot of renovations in the past few years. It's nice, not so much doom and gloom."

Finally they stopped when they reached one of the palace's many studies. She heard happy chattering and laughter coming from within, which stopped once the servant knocked.

She felt nervous all over again once the door opened. Then they were announced and promptly ushered inside.

There _he_ stood, holding his daughter in his arms with his beloved wife by his side, surrounded by their family and friends.

Mai let out a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding, and Ty Lee was the first one to greet them, squeezing both in a group hug.

"I'm so happy you two made it! Here, let me introduce you to everyone."

Ty Lee led them around the room, and soon Mai was finally, properly acquainted with Avatar Aang and his fiancée Toph Bei Fong (the world's greatest earthbender and only known metalbender, thank you very much), and the Fire Lady's brother Sokka of the Water Tribe with his pregnant wife Suki, leader of the Kyoshi Warriors and Ty Lee’s captain.

Everyone was so friendly and welcomed them both with such enthusiasm that one would have thought they were her oldest friends.

Mai and Kei Lo eventually found themselves standing in front of her ex and his wife, and suddenly the room grew quiet.

They bowed before the Fire Lord and Lady and were surprised when they bowed in return.

She hesitated for a second, then she sighed and shrugged her shoulders lightly.

Then Mai shocked them all, herself included, when she opened her arms and gave the Fire Lady a hug to show that she had finally let go of the past.

Katara was stunned, but she quickly returned the embrace, giving her a quick squeeze. 

"Thank you," she whispered softly.

Mai just smiled and nodded in return as she stepped back.

"It's so good to see you again," Zuko said gently, his golden eyes shining as he adjusted his squirming daughter around in his arms. "There's someone I'd like for you to meet. This is our daughter, Izumi."

She smiled down at the girl, who suddenly settled and looked up at this stranger in wonder.

The princess' eyes were the exact same golden hue as her father's, and Mai was breathless for a moment, just like she had been all of those years ago when she first met Zuko. 

In another lifetime, this could have been her daughter, and the significance of this particular meeting wasn't lost on anyone present.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Princess Izumi," she whispered, leaning over and letting the girl wrap her tiny fist around her fingertip.

Then she stood up straight and introduced them to Kei Lo, who bypassed royal protocol altogether and extended his hand to the Fire Lord. Zuko actually smiled at this informal greeting, though, and the two shook hands instead.

Mai noticed he was discreetly sizing her new partner up, which she found stupid yet amusing for some reason. Fortunately, he seemed pleased by what he saw, and eventually her current boyfriend and her ex were talking like they were old friends.

Kei Lo was surprised to hear that the Fire Lord of all people had once been forced into poverty and often went to bed hungry during that time period, just like himself.

He was even more amused to hear that he’d once worked in a tea shop.

“You know, that’s actually where Mai and I met,” he said, giving her a wink. “We met one day last fall, after I walked in and saw her sitting by herself.”

Her lips twitched at the memory.

“He asked to join me, then he bumped the table while pulling up a chair and spilled tea all over my dress,” she added as he blushed.

All of the men in the room winced and made sounds of sympathy. She could have sworn she even heard Zuko mumble something about how that was rough.

Did he say _buddy_ as well, or was her mind playing tricks on her?

“But I’d say it all worked out,” Kei Lo said, slipping his hand into hers and giving it a squeeze, before he wrapped his arm around her lower back and left it there.

Zuko watched this interaction with a slightly raised eyebrow, and for the briefest moment she thought she saw something flash in his eyes.

But then he gave them both a genuine smile as he invited them to sit down and join them until dinner was served.

~*~*~

At one point, Mai's curiosity got the best of her, and she decided to ask Katara point blank what was on her mind.

"Your daughter's name means fountain, correct?"

Zuko's eyes widened briefly as he suddenly recalled the memory from when they were children.

Mai wasn't surprised when she learned that their daughter was named after an entirely different fountain - the one from the royal family's beach house on Ember Island, in fact. 

"So you're telling me the Ember Island Players were wrong, and your first date wasn't actually down in the catacombs?" she asked with a hint of smirk.

They both flushed, but fortunately Zuko chuckled. At least he still understood her sense of humor.

"Oh Agni no," he said, shaking his head. "I can't believe you actually heard of that play, either. That was the worst thing I've ever seen, not to mention factually incorrect."

"I mean, it _was_ terrible, but I really liked those effects," chimed in Sokka.

"They weren't that good, buddy," Zuko said.

Since when did he say things like buddy? Interesting, Mai thought.

"Actually, I yelled at him for most of the time we were down there," Katara added, giving her a knowing smile. "Then we started talking towards the end, although it definitely wasn't romantic."

She paused. 

”Then I offered to heal his scar with special water from the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole, but we were interrupted,” she said softly, exchanging a look with her husband. “I ended up using it later to save Aang’s life instead.”

Mai’s eyes widened in disbelief. 

“Could you have actually done it?” she asked. 

Katara shrugged. 

”I don’t know if it would have worked, but I was willing to try.” 

Mai sat back, stunned at this revelation. She wished Zuko would have told her back then, but she probably wouldn’t have listened. 

”But he was still your enemy at the time,” she said. “Why would you do something like that for someone you hated?” 

Katara gave Zuko’s hand a squeeze. 

”At that moment I didn’t see an enemy,” she explained. “I just saw someone who I could help.” 

It all made sense now, Mai thought as she recalled their conversation from long ago. She had said she wouldn’t show mercy to an enemy if they needed her help. 

Meanwhile, Katara _had_ , even though she had nothing to gain from aiding the prince of the country that had ravaged hers.

No wonder he fell for her, Mai thought, ducking her head. 

"He mentioned once that you both talked about your mothers while you were down there, too,” Mai said softly.

Katara seemed surprised that she knew this, considering it wasn’t common knowledge outside of their group, and of course, the play hadn’t mentioned it at all.

"When was this?" she asked, looking up at her husband.

"It was shortly after he returned back home," Mai said. "Seems like you really made an impression on him, even back then."

Mai looked at Zuko and gave him a genuine smile.

"Also, I was so happy to hear that you finally found your mother," she added, noting how his face brightened. "So how did that happen?"

He nodded, and she listened in amazement as he and the Avatar's friends explained how they reunited with Lady Ursa.

~*~*~

They passed around and poured from bottles of Fire Nation whiskey, Earth Kingdom liquor, and Water Tribe vodka while they waited for dinner.

The latter was cold and harsh as she swallowed it down, and she wasn’t very fond of it.

Sokka explained the chilling effect it left was deliberately intended to evoke images of the snowy tundra from where it was distilled.

She enjoyed the liquor, though, which tasted like peaches and almonds and appealed to her sweet tooth.

“Remind me to get more of this stuff,” she said as an aside to Kei Lo, who shared a similar taste palate as far as alcohols went.

After a while, Toph struck up a conversation with her.

“So I hear you also left behind the world of nobility,” she said with a grin. “From one former rich girl to another, isn’t it awesome being away from all of that bull-”

“Toph!” Aang interrupted, blushing slightly at his fiancée’s lack of propriety, but she just shrugged.

“I’m sure Mai knows exactly what I’m talking about. Did your parents raise you to be a prim and proper young lady like mine?”

Mai allowed herself a grin. She was doing that more often these days.

“It was the worst,” she agreed, pouring more liquor into her glass. “My parents always used to tell me, ‘no one likes a mad woman, Mai, be good and quiet and we’ll give you whatever you want.’”

She paused, taking a sip as Toph nodded in understanding.

“Most outsiders didn’t even know I existed for the longest time,” Toph explained. “My parents were that overprotective of me, just because I was blind. They barely even let me earthbend at first.”

With that, she held out her hand and called forth a piece of metal, which she proceeded to bend into various different shapes.

Huh, Mai thought as she watched. She really did live up to her own hype.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents but I’m so glad to be away from that boring, stuffy lifestyle,” Toph said, setting the metal aside. 

“Cheers to that,” Mai agreed, raising her glass slightly. “It’s so weird, I grew up thinking it was normal but I’m so happy now that I’m not living in that world anymore.”

Out of the corner of her eye she caught Zuko giving her a slight knowing smile, likely recalling the conversation long ago where she denounced all non-nobles as peasants who were beneath her.

And now, she had come full circle by not only renouncing that lifestyle, but also seriously dating someone she never would have given a second look at back then.

She and Toph took a sip together, then the younger woman asked what she was up to these days. They seemed fascinated when she told them about the flower shop, the dojo, and the paintings.

“Going from rich girl to working girl must have been an adjustment,” Toph said.

Mai shrugged.

“It was strange at first, sure, but I actually really like it,” she said. “The neighborhood is fun, people are much friendlier, and it’s actually very soothing.”

“We saw the floral plaque you made for Izumi,” Suki chimed in. “That was beautiful and so sweet of you to do.”

The others chorused in agreement, and Katara thanked her profusely again.

“It was really pretty,” Toph added with a smile.

Mai was about to open her mouth when she stopped and tilted her head, frowning slightly.

“I thought you were blind,” she said.

Toph just laughed and leaned back in her seat.

“I love catching people off guard like that but you, you were too smart to fall for it,” she said, grinning and raising her glass in her general direction. “I like you.”

Mai returned the grin.

“Likewise.”

“That’s how she shows affection,” Aang explained, smiling. “Like it or not, I think you’ve been unofficially initiated into our group.”

~*~*~

Mai and Suki talked at length about her visiting and training with the Kyoshi Warriors at some point before the latter turned to the newest member of their group.

“So, Kei Lo,” Suki asked. “What did you do before you met Mai?”

He explained how he was an orphan and spent most of his life wandering around from town to town, before he eventually ended up in the one where Mai lived.

“What brought you there?” Katara asked while trying to soothe a fussy princess before giving up and passing her back to her father.

Of course, Princess Izumi immediately settled down and went back to sleep once she was in Zuko's arms.

"Such a daddy's girl," Katara teased. "I only carried her for nine months and gave birth to her, but you see what a traitor she is."

She turned back to the group.

"Sorry, got a little sidetracked," she said. "Please continue, Kei Lo."

He watched their family interaction with interest and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Oh, nothing in particular. I just needed a change of scenery-”

Toph snorted loudly.

“ _That’s_ a lie,” she declared loudly.

Mai and Kei Lo stared at her in confusion.

“Greatest earthbender in the world, remember? I can sense people’s heartbeats and know when someone is lying.”

Mai stared at Kei Lo now, and the others did so as well. He swallowed loudly.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” he said with a weak smile. “It’s just... well, a little strange considering the present company. You probably won't believe me.”

“Well, tell us then,” Zuko said, raising his eyebrow. 

Kei Lo glanced around the group, then down at the floor for a second before he looked back up at Toph.

“So you can tell when anyone is lying?” he asked, and she nodded. 

He got up and sat beside her, offering his arm.

“Here,” he said. “Hold my wrist if you want so you’ll know I’m telling the truth. Like I said, it’s a little awkward but it’s nothing malicious.”

The group looked at each other again, numerous eyebrows raised.

Kei Lo sighed and turned to face Zuko directly.

“Do you remember the tip you received last summer about the big gathering of the New Ozai Society, the one where a lot of big-name politicians were involved? The one where they were planning a massive hit on you and your entire family?”

The others nodded solemnly, but Mai was confused.

“It wasn’t publicized,” Zuko explained to her before he focused his attention on her boyfriend again, frowning at him now. “It happened several towns over from where you live now, actually. How did you know about it?”

Kei Lo looked a little sheepish.

“You never did figure out who tipped you off, did you?” he asked.

Zuko's eyes widened and he tilted his head as the pieces fell into place.

“It was some guy who only said his name was-”

Kei Lo held his hand up.

“Lee. That’s me, or at least that was the name I gave the authorities.”

They all outright gaped at him now.

“Toph?” Aang asked. “Is he…?”

“Yup, that’s the truth,” she said, as stunned as the rest of them. “I did _not_ see that coming.” 

Mai couldn’t help herself.

“Not like you could anyways,” she said.

Toph snorted.

“I _knew_ I liked you for a reason,” she said with a grin. “But getting back to your boyfriend, _you_ were the secret source?”

He nodded.

“They tried to recruit me, by talking about making a change and improving life for the common man and stuff like that,” he explained. “But once I realized later that night what was really going on, I decided I didn’t want any part of it, so I alerted the right authorities and skipped town before they figured out it was me.”

He looked at Mai, biting his lip.

“I was going to tell you eventually,” he said. “That’s why on our first date, when I found out you originally came from nobility, I asked who you knew or previously dated, to see if you were affiliated with them by chance. If you had been, I would have ended the night early, but then I find out your ex is the _Fire Lord_ …”

He trailed off, glancing at Zuko sheepishly.

“I figured I might as well make this first meeting as awkward as possible, right?” he deadpanned, earning a few chuckles.

But Zuko just looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Why did you do it?” he asked quietly. “I'm forever indebted to you for saving not just my life, but my entire family’s, including my daughter’s who was barely a month old at the time. You didn’t owe me your loyalty."

Kei Lo shrugged.

“Of course I did,” he said, nodding his head in his direction. “You’re the Fire Lord, my leader, the ruler of the country I love. I also don’t condone killing innocent lives, especially when children or infants are involved. But if that’s not reason enough for you, consider this..."

“I don’t know a fraction of your history or what all you’ve been through, but I’ve heard enough to know that you and I aren’t so different after all. Neither of us were dealt the best hand in this life, but you’re trying to do the best you can with what you’ve been given.”

He paused, noting the small smile on the Fire Lord’s face.

“If nothing else,” he continued, “you seem to genuinely have the Fire Nation’s best interests at heart. I'm proud to serve under your rule."

He bowed his head, and there was a long silence afterwards.

“Thank you,” Zuko finally said, his voice hoarse before he quickly composed himself and turned to Mai. “Well, not that you needed it, but he’s got my approval now.”

She rolled her eyes but smiled at Kei Lo, who returned it with one of his own.

~*~*~

A little while later, another servant interrupted them to announce dinner was ready.

She gave Kei Lo's hand a squeeze as they followed the others through the hallways. Zuko hung back for a moment, passing his daughter off to his wife.

"I know being here probably brings back a lot of bad memories," he said quietly as he walked beside them. "But it is good to see you again, and I'm glad you both are here. I don't ever remember seeing you this happy before."

She paused, and the three of them stopped.

"I'm happy to be back," she said truthfully, and the two former lovers embraced for the first time as friends.

Then she took her boyfriend's hand in hers once more, and they continued walking.

"Besides," she said while smiling at them both, "sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together."

Zuko returned the smile, and then he immediately struck up another friendly conversation with Kei Lo. Mai just listened to them as they walked, preferring to soak in her surroundings instead.

It had been a painful journey to get to this point, full of heartbreak and countless lonely nights of crying herself to sleep.

She had been through hell, but at last she felt at peace. Somehow it was here, with her boyfriend as well as her friends both old and new, that she realized she had never been happier.

As the evening continued, Mai found herself grinning so widely at times that her parents probably would have thought she was a mad woman.

What a shame then, she thought as she laughed at yet another story from one of her new friends as Kei Lo squeezed her hand under the table.

If that was the case, she decided that she rather liked being mad.

* * *

_ "You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place." _

Iroh in The Crossroads of Destiny


End file.
